starkingenuity | The Not So Silent Hill

Bruce warned him about the alcohol, but did he listen? Noooooooo...

As Tony hoisted himself onto the table, Bruce rubbed his temple and flashed an apologetic look towards Odin, hoping that Thor's loud and boisterous mannerisms were common here.

"Sorry, Alessa," he murmured to her softly.

She shrugged, to this day not sure what she's supposed to do when she has food in front of her. "I stopped caring about being embarrassed a long time ago."

Bruce gave her a smile and mimed ruffling her hair. As Tony got to thanking Odin for having them, Alessa sent a small smirk in Odin's direction. Bruce hadn't the slightest what had passed between Alessa and the All-Father, but whatever it was, it seemed to be profound. He was curious, but considering they were being given all the resources of Asgard, he wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"And so, in closing--" Most of the people around the long tables looked utterly confused by what was happening, their goblets still lifted up high while Tony literally pontificated about nothing at all. He'd started slurring words when he got up to the part where he peed in his suit (which didn't really work when he wasn't wearing the armor and the joke was so overdone it really wasn't that funny anyway) and half fell backwards when Odin rose to thank him mid-sentence.

"Let us continue with the feast! Another course, yes, yes, and bring some apple juice for our guest." There was twittering from the crowd after that, but as Tony required help getting back into his seat and half passed out once he got there, nose inches from some sort of squash soup, it was just as well.

The apple juice at least had a restorative sort of quality to it, enough of one to perk him up and finish a big slice of cake while he gazed dreamily at Banner. "Your eyes are like Turkish coffee."

Bruce started to sigh softly and hide his face once Tony got into nonsense. By the time Tony was revived and giving him bedroom eyes, Bruce had long since realized that he was far too sober for this.

"Why Turkish?" Luckily, Tony was not at all the kind of drunk Bruce's father had been. Brian Banner used to get angry and mean when he was drinking. Tony just got... silly. And apparently, flirty.

"Please tell me you're not going to start when I'm in the middle," Alessa piped up, looking supremely annoyed by this development. "His staring is bad enough when he's sober. If you start making out, I'm gone."

"You don't need to worry about that, Alessa." They were, after all, in public.

Tony had to agree with that...to a point at least. "I'll be sure to put my hands over your eyes first," he teased Alessa. "It's not my fault you're short and easy to lean over."

It was true that Tony was a silly drunk and when in love, he was a silly, in love drunk. He wiggled an eyebrow at Bruce, stopping only at the look Alessa gave him. Oh, that did make him laugh, and laugh sweetly.

Any look Bruce gave him was taken with a grain of salt and a little bit of a comment dripping with innuendo before most of the guests filtered out in pairs or groups to do whatever it is well born Asgardians happened to do after feasting with the All-Father.

It was right about that time that they were informed that Alessa's body was whole again and, luckily, Tony was actually able to walk back to the healing pavilion without having to lean on Bruce, the walls, or poor Alessa's projection.

"Oh, for the record, Turkish because of how strong they are. You really have no idea how attractive you are, Bruce Banner. No comments from the peanut gallery on that one either, Lessy."

Alessa was tense. Her expression didn't change, but she hung closer to Tony and Bruce, her projection radiating humid warmth. "The peanut gallery comments on what it wants!" She looked up at Bruce, then tilted her head. "...I think you look nice. It's easier for me to tell if a girl's pretty than if a boy's handsome."

Bruce arched one eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yeah." She frowned ever so slightly. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"No reason."

Alessa normally would have probed, but instead, she just looked forward, smoothing her skirt slowly.

Then they got to the medical room, the corners of her mouth tightened. A body, breathing, without machines or tubes, lying on its back with its arms by its sides. It was hairless, without a single scar or blemish, and it looked like it was asleep.

Just a sleeping little girl.

Alessa hung back further, staring at the body with her mouth in a grim line.

Tony, however, went immediately towards her, only to have a healer stop him. "She is quite suseptible to illness in this state. You will need to contain the air she breathes for some time, control her temperature...think of her as an infant."

Tony glanced back at Bruce and frowned. He'd never been around an infant before. They were all screaming without teeth and shitting and not much else. He wasn't sure what to do other than get her a blanket and a beanie cap to keep the heat in. He decided not to touch Alessa's body, even though he wanted to. "But she's all right?"

"She's perfect again. She will function, though she will need your help feeding her and cleaning her. She may not be able to talk until her tongue becomes more muscular but she can breathe and swallow on her own." Eir turned to Alessa and crouched down, hands folded over her knees. "Would you like to test it out? You will need to let us know if you feel any pain from your body. We will be able to fix that before you leave here."

Alessa stared past Eir at her body, fragile and new and like a doll instead of a mangled corpse. She pursed her lip and disappeared.

The body's eyes snapped open, and for the first time in nearly forty years, she could see.

The light was too bright. The table too cold. She felt the cold, felt the hard, but she couldn't move and people were all around her and she was struggling for air because her throat was getting tight and she remembered she remembered the last time she was in the body and she could see when she couldn't move and the flames she could see them everywhere and she wanted scream and thrash but Mommy had tied her to the floor she let herself be tied to the floor and it hurt it hurt her skin was peeling and she was seeing the world end before her and she couldn't breathe anymore there was too much smoke--

Bright blue eyes, far more vivid in color than the projection's ever were, darted around the room blindly, a blast of heat rolling off of it as its weak chest heaved in hyperventilation, the table beginning to blacken all around it even as the skin remained pristine.

At first, Tony was hopeful. He creeped just a little closer before the wriggling began. Eir was right. She was just like a newborn, her arms and legs just barely capable of moving and her fingers not quite balling up into fists. A sharp cry escaped her throat and he turned at once to Bruce the moment her eyes rolled around her head like a frightened horses.

"Gloves!" Doctors always carried them. He'd seen Bruce put then in his pocket before they left in case he had to handle Alessa's burnt body. At least they were always prepared. Tony didn't wait for Bruce to hand him a pair, he ripped the Baggie from his jacket pocket and slapped two on his hands quicker than one might think was possible before he was back at Alessa's side.

Panic attack. He knew all about those. Gloves fingers lightly took her hand in his and he rubbed his thumb against her palm.

"Lessy. Less, sweetheart, look at me. Just look at me. You're safe." He could feel his watch heating up. The push of too warm air was almost stifling. "You're with me. You're still with us and you can leave that body whenever you want! Do you feel me holding your hand? Do you remember what you told me the night you and I laid in your bed? That all you want to do is feel? Well feel me!"

It was too much. Sensation was tingling on her skin, pressing against a hand she didn’t understand anymore, lighting up pieces of her brain that hadn’t been used in decades, and she didn’t know if it was pleasant or painful but it was overwhelming and she could see her mother leaning over her with those cold eyes and tangled hair and her chest was tight and she wanted out--

Thick black smoke rose from the body. The wriggling ceased and the eyes closed.

“LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Bruce flinched and covered his ears as the voice boomed in the room, shaking the walls and ground, before the smoke shot through the air and out the door, leaving the room far too hot with a long crack through the stone floor.

The body was no longer moving, but tears trickled from its closed eyes.

Bruce slowly moved his hands from his ears. Alessa had just had a panic attack. He never thought he’d see that happen to the stoic, perpetually expressionless little girl.

“…I think she needs a minute.”

"Uh. Yeah." Tony pulled off his gloves with a wince, the latex steaming and his fingers coated in sweat. He balled up the gloves and shoved them into his pockets before Eir returned to his side with some salve. "Hey--"

"It will soothe you. Alessa will need some time to cope with sensation that does not include pain. Her body is new but her mind is not," the healer explained and while Tony tried to understand, he really didn't. He wanted to, but he had no frame of refence for this at all.

Desperately, he looked to Bruce. "She might be yours on this one."

Bruce pursed his lips and looked at the door the smoke had gone through. It was hard to articulate, how it felt to want kind touches, but to not understand anything but pain. How it felt when people jerked their hands too quickly, when they waved around bottles, even after so many years. How it felt to be trapped in your own memories.

He didn't bother to try. Instead, he just said, "I'll talk to her once she's cooled off. She's used to dealing with things on her own. Trying to force my help right now might make it worse."

It had taken him a long time to accept help, to accept vulnerability, and he hadn't been through half of what she had been.

Though all of that did sound like it was for the best, Tony couldn't help but worry. Alessa, scared, alone, and here in Asgard could be a pretty volatile match up. Could they really trust her to go off, to hide, and not melt down part of the city?

Tony flexed his fingers, the ache leaving them, and stood again. His hair was ruffled from Alessa's rage and he looked halfway defeated.

"We can set up a place for you to stay and wait for the girl to calm herself down. There is a lovely garden and a comfortable bed there," Eir said.

Tony thanked her. He could use a rest.

Well, if she started melting down the city, they would know about it.

Bruce didn't rest. He spent his time in the garden, looking at the flowers and gently urging Tony to sleep if he didn't do so on his own. Eventually, after the city grew quiet and it had yet to be melted down, Bruce slowly walked away again.

He didn't need to look for her. He had a feeling he knew where she would be.

Alessa sat in the medical room, staring at her body, hugging her knees and alone except for the magic monitoring her vitals. Bruce didn't even need to announce his presence before she said, "It's not mine anymore."

"It may feel that way for now..." Bruce sat down next to her, even as his joints creaked and cracked. He was getting old. "...But you're going to make it yours. It always belonged to you, even if it hurts to think about."

She huffed softly, resting her chin on her knees and letting her hair fall in front of her face.

Bruce looked at the body, still and pristine. "You know, your projection isn't entirely accurate. You look different in real life."

She peered at him under her hair. "What do you mean?"

"You make yourself look older. You wash out your colors." He made a vague gesture towards the body. "You have very pretty eyes, too, when they're not closed."

She huffed again. "Doesn't matter. They're not mine."

"Then the body has very pretty eyes. How's that?" Bruce imitated her pose, hugging his knees. He wasn't quite as flexible as she was, though. "This is going to be very hard for you. I wish I could fix it all, but I can't. Neither can Tony. You're going to need to learn everything all over again. But we're going to be right here for you while you do it, okay?"

She didn't immediately respond. She slowly unfolded her legs, smoothing her skirt and staring at the body with a neutral expression.

"...Can you put my hand on your face?"

Bruce arched an eyebrow at her. "I can't put gloves on it. The healers said it wasn't safe."

"I don't care."

She didn't look at him.

"I want to know what it feels like."

He watched her carefully from the corner of his eye. She didn't look at him.

But he still couldn't say no.

"Okay. But don't tell the healers."

She disappeared from his side. Those vivid blue eyes opened up again, but this time, they were half-lidded, and he watched the chest rise and fall evenly before taking gloves out of his pocket and pulling them on carefully.

Then he knelt by her table, picking up on hand--so soft and weak and small in his--before pressing it gently to his cheek, already growing stubble.

The sandpapery skin made her hand tingle and her nerves shudder and she couldn't move--but she could leave the body at any time, and the touch had just enough rough bite to it that she could understand it somewhat. His hand she had trouble with, but his cheek felt like... she didn't know what it felt like anymore.

But it made the corner of the body's mouth twitch upwards.

Because sleep had indeed taken him, for all of half an hour, Tony had missed all but the tail end of Bruce's and Alessa's exchange. He stood in the doorway, trying not to trespass on their moment, happy just to watch without joining in. he had his time with each seperately and that the two more important people in his life bonded was top priority.

It didn't seem to matter to Tony that they had each entered his life not all that long ago. He'd known Banner for two years, since the Chitauri attack on New York, but that didn't mean that they spoke every day or even that they were in constant contact. He's known Alessa for even less time, though he'd grown attached to her, like Bruce, very early on.

Tony was a man for nonsensical relationships, it seemed.

When things were still for awhile, he crept forward towards the pair and slowly ran a hand up Bruce's back to his shoulder and squeezed.

The process might be slow going, but he knew Bruce had made a break through.

Bruce looked up at Tony, giving him a small smile, and the thumb on his cheek twitched.

The vivid blue eyes were half-lidded. Bruce carefully drew the hand from his cheek, taking note of how even just his stubble left little crisscrossing red lines on the brand new skin, and clasped it between his own healthy and adult and gloved hands. Like that, weak and hairless and sleepy, she did seem like an infant.

"Tony, settle something for us: are her real eyes prettier than she gives them credit for or not?"

She seemed to remember how to roll them perfectly well. That made Bruce smile.

"Why do I have this terrible, sinking feeling that no matter what I answer, I'm going to get in trouble?" Tony answered, smirking quietly. "So I'll just say this. You have beautiful eyes no matter what but they're so much brighter in person. Like the sky," he said, leaning slightly against Bruce.

It could take months for Alessa to find proper use of her limbs, for muscle to build, if they left her like this, but before introducing her to Extremis, it seemed incredibly important to teach her how to make sense of the world through touch before injecting her with enough power to melt down the small island Tony conveniently owned. Staying here for a few days, however, wasn't ideal.

Sure, Tony could spend a few weeks in the library, touring the city, and what have you but he didn't bring any of his stuff and he really needed his stuff.

He felt strange not being in his own space.

So long as Alessa could be ready to move, he was ready to go home.

Maybe then she'd let him touch her too without going into a panic.

"Tony's learning diplomacy. That's how we know he cares."

The corner of her mouth twitched again. Then the bright eyes closed. Her face relaxed again and the breathing evened out.

But no spirit came back out. Bruce carefully lay the hand back on the table before standing up and saying in a low voice, "I think she's sleeping."

For perhaps the first time since they had met her, she was actually sleeping. It seemed like the healing process took more out of her than they had thought.

Bruce peeled off his gloves and pressed a kiss to Tony's cheek. "Let's go to bed too."

Bed, of course, meant that Tony tried to make the moves on Bruce and while he was successful for a whole two minutes, the moment the other man's heart started to race, he was shoved away. Tony had no where to take care of his little problem, so he laid back, half undressed, in a bed made of thick quilts and furs and watched the back of Bruce's neck and shoulders as the stars washed him in silhouette.

"Sorry," he said, which might have been a first for him in bed with another person, but he genuinely was sorry for the way he couldn't keep his hands off of a man that could never fully allow himself to be touched. "It probably drives you even more crazy than it does me."

Which had to be saying something, Tony thought, because he felt seriously crazy half of the time.

It wasn't Bruce's fault.

"It probably does, but I'm used to it."

It was the only advantage Bruce had. He was used to self-control, self-denial. He could handle pulling himself away from Tony, and he could handle the deep ache of dissatisfaction as his erection pressed against his pants, doomed to eventually deflate, unfulfilled.

"I like being able to have what we do, anyway." Even if it did make him anxious that Tony toed the line so much, even if it did leave him frustrated and dissatisfied, it was better than cutting himself off from intimacy entirely. Even if they couldn't complete anything, he still liked touching and being touched, kissing and being kissed. It was intimate, it was a connection to someone he loved. He wanted that.

He rolled over again to look at Tony. "I can try to take care of you, you know. I'd like to. You just... couldn't touch me while I did it." He wanted the intimacy, even if he physically didn't get anything out of it. He would be lying if he said he didn't feel guilty and like a bad partner for not being able to give Tony what he needed in a relationship, and he would also be lying if he said he didn't crave the closeness.

A straw curl -- and they were getting so long -- was tucked behind one of Bruce's ears before Tony tilted his head into the pillow. "You'll resent me for it. I'll feel guilty for it. It's not a cycle to perpetuate." He stroked his hand down Bruce's shoulder, over his arm and to his waist where it stayed. "Not that it wouldn't be welcome, but I'm not going to take advantage of you and be some pillow princess."

Tony closed his eyes when he leaned in to kiss Bruce's frown away gently, his mouth moving to his forehead after to place another kiss at his hairline.

Tony wished he could say that sex didn't matter but it did matter. It was going to keep on mattering more and more until something gave in.

He wasn't sure how they'd handle that.

"We'll figure it out," he breathed softly. "As soon as we figure Alessa out. I promise you that."

Bruce wanted to say that he wouldn't resent Tony, that it wasn't his fault that Bruce had destroyed himself with careless experimentation and he shouldn't suffer for it. But maybe he would eventually begin to resent Tony, resent the fact that Tony needed something that he could only give a superficial semblance of, resent the fact that he would always be left frustrated. Maybe he'd eventually stop enjoying pleasuring his boyfriend if he was never able to be satisfied in return.

The thought concerned him, though. It was the main thing that made him try to avoid a relationship. Sex was important to most people, and it was the one thing Bruce couldn't give anyone.

He closed his eyes. The frown was still in his brow, creasing skin already marked by years of strain. "If we can't figure it out... I don't want this to make you resent me."

Because he was sure it would eventually. Tony was used to getting what he wanted, and after a few months, a few years, it would wear on them both. Bruce would be lying if he said that he hadn't considered telling Tony he could go outside their relationship to get the sex he needed. The thought made his stomach clench, but if that was what it took... Bruce was used to making compromises.

That was everything Tony was afraid of. That, and cheating. He'd been willing to cheat on Pepper and-- That wasn't him. He couldn't stand the thought of being that sort of guy. It was different with one night stands, but having a string of them again and coming home to sleep with Bruce--

It would eat at him. It would eat at them both.

"There's nothing we can't do," Tony said, not just pandering to his boyfriend, but genuinely believing it. "Nothing. When was the last time I steered you wrong, Banner? Actually, don't answer that."

He tried to joke, to make light of it all, but the corners of his lips tugged upwards with such horrible strain.

"Alessa first. Your little heart condition second. It'll be fun. Like couple's therapy." Or it would destroy them. Tony was going to lean towards good vibrations here.

Bruce wasn't very good at forcing smiles. Even his real ones rarely reached his eyes. Instead, he reached out, stroking Tony's hair before pulling him in for a gentle kiss.

"I love you."

He didn't say it very often. It felt strange in his mouth. It had been a phrase rarely, if ever, spoken in his home growing up, and he just never got into the habit of verbalizing that feeling that made him want to keep people close and never let them go. He was neither demonstrative nor particularly verbal about his feelings, something that had grated on many exes in the past.

But he wanted to say it. Wanted to, just in case they were wrong and they wouldn't be able to fix it. Just in case they had made a mistake in opening this door in the first place.

They might be able to fix it. They might. He tried to think about that instead.

There was a moment where all of Tony's muscles stiffened before he relaxed and his smile brightened his eyes. It was a treat to have the words leave Bruce's lips and sure, they were just words, but Tony liked to hear them. They made his heart flutter in a way no one had ever been able to do before.

It was why he knew this was worth fighting for.

He knew it in his bones. Another kiss was passed between them, Tony pressing his thumb to Bruce's chin before he did it. Soft. Hot, but not demanding. There was no need to have another flurry of 'I need a minute!'s thrown around again.

Tony pressed his leg between Bruce's to nuzzle in as close as possible and held him as if it might make the grass greener or the stars fall out of the sky. Tony was a miracle worker. And with Bruce helping him, how could they fail?

"I love you too," he said after soaking it all in. "Which is why I know you need to sleep. Alessa might not enjoy the experience being teleported home tomorrow."

"Mmmhmm. The last thing we need it to try dealing with a cranky little girl without enough sleep."

Hopefully, Tony would get some sleep too. Bruce fretted about how little he rested, but to be fair, Bruce tended to fret about a lot of things.

He fell into a fitful sleep. Nightmares were frequent. It was nice to be able to wake up in someone's arms, though.

By the time he woke up and it was just barely daytime, a familiar projection was crouched at the foot of their bed, staring at them both with a neutral expression. "We should explore before we leave," was the first thing out of Alessa's mouth.

No one understood knocking anymore.

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