(no subject)

[starkingenuity]

"Not.  My.  Problem."  He's been raging over the finer points of his Jaeger Academy graduation dispatch for the last three hours.  "Do you not know who I am?  Do you not know the contributions I've made to the PPDC?  How about the genius I've lent to the program?  To the pons devices?  To the Jaeger control cores?  The drivesuits?  I do not--  Listen.  Marshall.  I should get a damned say in who you stick me with."

"That's not how it works, Ranger," the calm man tells the somewhat older gentleman sitting across from him.  Stark is a genius.  No one can or will ever doubt that.  He went through a year's worth of training and breaking and mental and physical exhaustion in the span of three months time.  It's...unheard of.  It's completely unheard of.

There's just one trouble.

Stark isn't Drift Compatible with anyone.  Well, with almost anyone.  Somehow, getting a neural bridge to the brain of his dad's science project isn't really high on the to-do list.  "Let me try the Kwoon room again.  Find someone else not in the Academy.  Just not him.  Yanno, I think you're trying to punish me!"

The Marshall sighs.  Director Fury had warned him about Stark.  He just hadn't listened.

Comments

[starkingenuity]

Ob! Good job! You've selected the proper answer! Tony actually straightens a little. He knows he's gorgeous. Blogs have been mentioning that for years, but it's Steve's opinion that matters. No one alive from back then to remember how Howard looked.

And Tony can get into Steve's head. He knows the blond is telling the truth. And he also knows why.

Older men.

Huh. Well. Howard had been older back then. And Tony has aged gracefully. "You're allowed to stay then," he tells Steve and lays back down, head pillowed on his arms. "Even if its because of the crows feet."

[starspangledspandex]

Well, Steve's opinion is honest. Tony certainly shares traits with his dad but he's very much his own person with his own looks in the super-soldier's mind.

Correction: handsome older men and particularly those that are incredibly intelligent.

Steve shakes his head at the reasoning and glances away as he mutters, "You also have a stronger jaw and..."

He trails off enough that he's probably inaudible but if Tony wants to pick at his brain now that he can and he'll learn his eyes are prettier than Howard's. Oh, and he's definitely more muscular than his dad too.

[starkingenuity]

Tony doesn't have a problem with any of that. In fact, Steve, if you want to spend the next few hours before sleep just thinking about how awesome he is, go right ahead. It's probably unfair being in Steve's brain like this, getting up close and personal outside of a Drift, where their thoughts rarely linger on anything outside of a task at hand.

This is different. Tony gets the lights as Steve crawls into bed himself and though there is near darkness, some emergency lighting strips around the light switch and the door handle give Stark just enough light to see Steve's outline.

He's had the odd male lover. No one like Steve but--

Okay. Don't. Stop. Don't honk about it. Don't think about him. And stop the inner dialogue because that's not helping anyone.

[starspangledspandex]

While that would certainly be fun, Steve's thoughts always drift to the people in his pictures before he goes to bed at night. It helps keep his mind off other things. It's awkward having a roommate sometimes.

Steve knows, he's seen those memories. It had been surprising considering the amount of women he also knows Tony had around during school. He would have never guessed that the man's interests leaned that way.

No, it isn't. It's actually keeping your roommate awake.

[starkingenuity]

Fuck you, Steve Rogers.

Ignore me then. That's actually so much more easily said than it is done. Opening up had been slow but now it's as if the flood gates are open.

Steve's gotten into his system. And that's annoying. Normally Tony would just fuck him and be done with it, but he can't turn him out and never see him again. They have to work together. Continue to work together. And so Tony turns his back to Steve and stares himself into a headache at a little dot of light before letting himself fall asleep.

It takes less than an hour for the Kaiju alarm to go off.

[starspangledspandex]

It had just been a reminder. Steve's not sure he wants to see any fantasies about him that Tony comes up with. This whole attraction to one another thing might end up being a problem.

Once the talking in his head stops, Steve doesn't have as much trouble falling asleep as Tony does though he wonders if there's a way to filter out the other man's thoughts unless Steve's focusing on him. Mental blocks, or something. He has no idea.

When the alarm goes off, he jerks to his feet with his fists clenched and once his brain catches up to where he is he raises a hand to rub his forehead. Kaiju. Not one of Schmidt's bases.

Not the forties anymore, Rogers. He internally berates himself before he remembers that Tony can hear him too. Steve ignores that fact and starts pulling on clothes. "There's still a possibility they won't send us out."

[starkingenuity]

"We don't have a Jaeger," Tony agrees but that doesn't stop him for getting into his underlayer drive suit and zipping up a PPDC uniform over it. From what he's heard, they're still working on it. The systems aren't tested yet. And they've never been inside of an actual conn-pod before. Still. They have a duty.

His eyes fixate briefly on the dog tags Steve wears before they are tucked out of sight and he jogs after the blond who is, likely, keeping things slow for him. Or at least slow enough for Tony to keep up.

Bastard.

What if its not even anywhere close to California? What if Australia or Hong Kong gets the fun again? What will it look like? Jesus I'm shaking.

[starspangledspandex]

Not having a Jaeger is definitely the thing holding them back most at this point. They need practice in a real one but pilots are very touchy and possessive of their Jaegers. If they want one to practice in, theirs needs to get finished.

It doesn't stop Steve from dressing in his undersuit either. He doesn't have the snazzy jacket yet but he should with the next shipment. If they've come up with a name by then, it'll have that embroidered on it somewhere.

He doesn't think twice about his dog tags. He's always worn them. When he's ready to go and it looks like Tony is too, he heads out the door. Steve is trying not to pry too much into the man's mind. He knows a lot because of the Drift but he doesn't need to know what the man is thinking every second.

People are dying, Tony. You shouldn't be so excited about it, Steve berates.

[starkingenuity]

"Your asshole is showing," Tony glowers. He's not happy that people might be getting hurt soon. Lately, they've been able to take care of the Kaiju before they reach the shore but it doesn't always happen. He doesn't like the idea of hurting people even if he had, until very recently, been a weapon's designer. It doesn't actually occur to him that those things can hurt people.

Not the way Kaiju do. Even if his demonstrations have blown up hillsides all over the world.

They hit the main engineering pad and watch two other sets of pilots and their crews being loaded into the launch bays.

That means that the Kaiju is close.

Tony's heart pounds. Especially when the launch doors pull back and an unpainted Jaeger is lined up on its own bay beside the others.

It's the first time he's laid eyes on it. Outside of a diagram on paper.

His heart actually flutters. So, he thinks, this is love.

[starspangledspandex]

He glances toward Tony but he keeps quiet. Let him glower, it's something that had needed said regardless. Sometimes he's not sure if the man really gets it. It's hell on Earth. He's seen what war is like through Steve and he's still excited; the super-soldier just doesn't understand.

Steve listens to the orders being shouted and the distances being called out from the command center. It is close. He raises his eyes to the Jaegers being loaded and shipped out, then turns his attention on the the third one.

Unpainted, maybe, but he can tell from Tony's reaction that this one is theirs. Honestly, it's just a machine to him. A tool. A powerful one that certainly deserves respect but it's the pilots that make it work. He could care less what it looks like so long as it's sturdy.

He turns to Fury as the man strides up, "Should we be in drive suits, Sir?"

[starkingenuity]

Though he tells himself that it's not contempt that has Steve pulling back, Tony can't help but marvel at the robot that he's destined to be inside of and control. Steve doesn't get it. Not yet. And maybe he never will, though Tony hopes that it'll eventually happen for him, that love and connection to their Jaeger. It's not just a machine, Steve Rogers.

There's no such thing as 'just' any way. Machines are like people. Even if most don't realize it.

"Not just yet. Lets hope you don't need to, gentlemen," Fury says in passing. "Both of you up to LOCCENT when you're done oggling that new Mark IV."

Tony will have the worst time tearing his eyes away.

[starspangledspandex]

It is impressive. Steve can appreciate the amount of work and effort that must go into making a Jaeger. It runs on some kind of electricity--that's about what he knows. He's going to need to know everything about it and he suspects if he poked Tony's brain a little all he'd get is scientific jargon.

Machines are not people. This is a thing Steve is sure about. They don't feel things. Their pilots do, but they don't.

"Yes, Sir," Steve nods in acknowledgment and he gives the Jaeger another look over before he turns toward the stairs. He pauses and turns back, "Tony, you can look at it later."

[starkingenuity]

"Yeah, fine, but I'm gonna need some alone time tonight, Steve-oh," Tony says, jogging to catch up. Yes, the man is turned on by machines. No. He probably is not joking. That means that you are S-O-L for the bunk tonight, at least for a little while.

He slips into the command center behind the blond, watching people scurry around with little interest until the Jaeger launch sequences start.

Soon, he'll be in one of those. Tony doesn't like war. But he would very much like to be a hero.

[starspangledspandex]

He opens his mouth to say... something and then closes it again. Steve doesn't know what to do with that statement. He's very aware just what it means but he doesn't want to be judgmental. It's a little, well, weird for lack of a better word. At least he still has his room.

"Alright, I'll stay away then."

Steve stands in the command center with his arms crossed and leaning against a railing out of the way of the scrambling. He's listening, sort of, to the people there but half of it goes over his head.

He's a soldier, not a scientist and he's not interested enough to prod Tony's brains for the answers. If he even can, communication is one thing but treating the other man's brain like a computer is another thing.

It helps to know the process and see this side of things before he's one of the ones in the Jaeger's launching.

[starkingenuity]

Little bits of that seep through and as the Jaegers are launched, Tony glances over at Steve, eyes fixed on the blond, not the monitors. If you want to know, I'll show you. He's not so much a computer as a television, really. He even tries to dumb it down, explaining how it all works.

Go ahead, Steve. Feel the joy in that. At least sample Tony's. And try not to pay too much attention to the other guy that keeps looking back at you. He's with the PPDC too, but he's not a Ranger. He's not from the Academy. He will, however, be asking to an autograph in the very near future because, hello! Captain America! Standing just behind him! Dream come true!

When Tony does look back to the screen, it's only because the forward guard of aircraft have found the Kaiju as it's surfaced and--

"Fuck. Pardon my language. But fuck." It's huge.

"Sir, we're reading it as a level three," Coulson says. "Nickname Karloff."

[starspangledspandex]

His gaze shifts from where the Jaegers are launching to Tony so he can listen to the rambling explanation. Some of it is really great information and it gives him a better picture of just what he's dealing with here. He can feel how excited and passionate the other man is about everything he's saying. There is something special about that.

Steve glances to the man fidgeting in front of him and ignores him. He's not sure what his deal is exactly but he's probably just nervous about everything that's going on.

His mouth parts as the Kaiju comes on screen and he doesn't care about the language. It's pretty appropriate given the circumstance. Karloff is massive and he looks deadly. They always do but this is one of the biggest ones yet.

"Are two Jaegers enough?"

[starkingenuity]

"They've handled level threes before," Coulson says but he doesn't look so sure. "Sir. We should put Anchorage on alert--"

The Marshall frowns but eventually nods. He can't risk it. Not when this Kaiju is massive and there will be no backup if it breaks through their pilots.

That Mark III can't come faster.

Tony steps cleanly out of the way as people start to rush around, calling the other Shatterdomes, and Fury sends the pair of new, unchecked pilots out of the room so they don't get in the way.

"We should be out there," Tony complains.

[starspangledspandex]

Steve nods at Coulson as he watches the screen and he frowns as the Jaegers arrive on scene. Tons of metal are dropped into the ocean and the chatter from the pilots start. It makes Tony and Steve even more in the way.

"Yes, Sir," he murmurs when Fury shoos them out of the room and Steve sighs, wishing he could be more useful. He can't blame the Marshall for not sending them out.

Steve shakes his head, "No, we shouldn't. We haven't been in a real Jaeger. We've only just started passing our simulations. If we're not prepared, we're going to end up dead."

[starkingenuity]

"Are you always like this?" Tony snaps. "Or do you just have to negate everything I say?" He'd forgotten how much of an asshole Steve is because of the Drift. Understanding someone doesn't mean that you automatically like them though. Why did he think he could get along with Steve outside of their training scenarios?

A lot of venom slips out, through their weird connection, without permission. Tony isn't going to apologize now, but later he might feel bad about it.

He ends up stalking away from Steve to join the other engineers in the observation bay. He wants to watch the fight. He wants to fantasize about being out there. It'll be a few months now before he even gets the chance. And that sucks.

[starspangledspandex]

"If you keep trying to get us killed, then yeah, I do," he snaps back, bristling at Tony's irritation. Steve knows he's being negative but he's not in any hurry to go to a watery grave. He understands that Tony is impatient but he'll have to get over it.

He feels the venom and he presses his lips together. Steve is trying to be the bigger person here but it's not an easy thing to do. He watches Tony go with a scowl. They'd been doing so well and now this.

Steve doesn't go too far either. He ends up heading up to observation too. It's not optimum but he needs to know what's happening and how everything works. He needs to see how these fights go down. He ignores Tony when he heads up and goes to the other side, leaning back against the wall.

[starkingenuity]

So now they aren't talking and Tony finds that so hard to deal with that he actually can't pay attention to the fight. The Jaegers have just reached the Kaiju when Tony turns away and storms out of the room. It has very little to do with Steve as much as it has to do with his own anger at himself.

He should apologize but Tony Stark does not apologize. He should try to smooth things over at least, but the blond is so fucking irritating.

He's not there where the Mammoth Apostle gets its arm ripped off. And it's conn-pod destroyed.

[starspangledspandex]

So now they can't even be in the same room as one another? Really? His presence is so irritating just existing is a problem? Fine, let Tony throw his fit. Steve has already agreed to give him space tonight anyway. He'll make sure they know that he wants to keep his room too.

Steve has nothing to apologize for as far as he's concerned. He's being cautious in the face of something with such a high mortality rate it's a wonder anyone signs up anymore.

He is there and watching as the Jaeger goes down. Maybe it's cruel but Steve shoves the image toward Tony alongside his grief. He hadn't known the pilots but two bright, determined and well-trained people had just lost their lives like it was nothing. It could be them.

[starkingenuity]

It's like getting a rock lobbed at the back of his head. Tony actually stumbles twice and catches himself on the wall. It's slow motion down there, his heart in his throat and medical assistance running to get into rescue planes. They all know that the pilots are dead. That doesn't stop them from trying to do what their job is...

Search. Rescue. At least there will be bodies to bring back. If they're lucky.

Tony has trouble straightening up and wets his lips before he closes his eyes. That was un... That was... Jesus, Cap, they're dead aren't they? Tell me that Romeo Blue is killing that thing.

[starspangledspandex]

, Yeah, they are, he replies solemnly.

He waits and watches long enough to see Romeo Blue retaliate with a vengeance, knowing that search and rescue is unlikely to find anything by the time they get there. Claws had ripped right through the conn pod and he wouldn't be surprised if they had died instantly.

Romeo has it handled.

Steve turns away from the screen as the command center calls it and goes in search of his Drift partner. He knows that had been almost uncalled for but he had to give Tony a wake up call. Now he feels bad and he doesn't know how much comfort he'll be but at least he tried.

[starkingenuity]

It'd been too real. Tony's never known destruction like that. Yes, Jaegers have been destroyed. Pilots have died. But he's never experienced it the way someone else with an actual heart might. He's never seen deaths like that and it's too hard for him to shake.

Cool, calm, collected. Tony Stark is a man that designs weapons, sells weapons, and leaves people to do with them as they will. But Steve's been in war before. He's lost before. And the empathy the blond has is actually overwhelming his co-pilot.

But the time Steve finds him, Tony has pressed himself so far back against a corner that he might as well become one with the paint job.

He's having trouble breathing, but that's only because he doesn't know how to properly be upset. Not until Steve is there and the Super Soldier sort of envelop him that Tony just lets go, tears soaking against the blond's chest.

Give him time. It's a lot to take in.