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[starkingenuity]

[Tony volunteers for the worst sort of body take over ever: here.]

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[hulkbusted]

"I'm just trying to keep up with you." He tips his head into the touch until it's gone, and when it is, he wants it back. It has been so long that he's had the kind of intimate contact that most humans need to thrive; he's going to need some time to catch up.

Instead he turns over and stretches out with a sigh that's more for the lingering effects of the drugs than anything else. As fraught as things will be back on Earth, he wants nothing more than to be home, whatever that nebulously defined home may be.

"Good-night."

And if nothing else can be said for sleep after an alien drug binge, it's deep. He barely moves during the hours until sunrise, dreams only of that one incredibly awkward time in gym class when he got a boner over one of the hottest girls in school, and wakes slowly and without wondering where he is. He's on Sakaar, and he's in bed with Tony.

Actually, he'd better check that.

Lump under the blankets? Check. Dark hair? Check. Grumpy morning Iron Man out of his shell?

He's ready to check that off as well, leaning over Tony to kiss his temple before heading off to the bathroom, when something registers as not quite right and it's more than a bit of rejuventated skin from a pink pollen facial.

[starkingenuity]

Grumpy morning Iron Man feels like his shell has been cracked. He’s been binging on Sakaaran drugs and booze for the last few days and it’s caught up with him. His head is splitting but he doesn’t feel like puking so that’s a pretty good shift in the norm for overly destructive behavior. He can feel the bed shift and what he wants to do is reach out to catch Bruce’s arm and tug him back down to create that lovely well of heat against his back. He misses. Bruce is gone. That’s a shame.

Tony closes his eyes and just exhales until he can think again. The pounding in his head is kind to him and listens, fading away to just a reminder that maybe he should be a little less hedonistic. He’s surprised that there isn’t a refrain about trying to act his age for once. He doesn’t actually feel so bad now that he’s able to focus.

Pushing back the covers, he swings his legs over the edge of the bed and pads into the bathroom to find Bruce, take a leak and brush his teeth. In that order.

His shorts are fitting looser though and he has to hitch them up before he glances at Bruce’s back and then at himself in the reflection over his shoulder.

“Holy shit.” He's usually a little better on the language, thanks to Steve and trying to be a good role model for a teenager, but when you’re face to face with the guy you haven’t been for twenty years, you get to say bad words.

[hulkbusted]

Bruce has similar, if not identical priorities. Toilet, teeth, Tony, in that order. He's on step two of three when Tony comes in, too groggy to really look up from zoning out on the sink while he brushes his teeth. He hasn't looked in the mirror yet and is blissfully unaware of anything strange until he hears Tony coming in and looks up to catch sight of him in the mirror.

Holy shit seems like an entirely reasonable response to seeing a guy who sounds like Tony and who resembles him, but who is far too young to be the man who Bruce went to sleep with.

Then Bruce catches sight of his own face and pulls the toothbrush out of his mouth to stare, open-mouthed at a face he hasn't seen since Harvard. He has to stop to spit out his toothpaste before breathing, "Holy shit is right."

So, alien asparagus jizz... He is never coming back to Sakaar.

[starkingenuity]

Somehow, reliving his twenties just isn’t the sort of thing he’s prepared to do, despite having masterminded the software and virtual reality glass to let him do just that. This isn’t a hologram though. It’s not playing back an emotional trauma made right in the hours before the deaths of his parents. He lightly touches his smooth cheek and then drops his hand to head back to the toilet.

He’s noping out right now, hard, both because he can’t bring himself to deal with it right now and because he really has to pee. His bladder is way too full and he’s starving and he’s pretty sure his brain is going to explode with ideas thanks to rejuvenated synapses.

As the sound of a healthy stream of twenty-something year old’s urine hits the water in the bowl, Tony murmurs to himself half intelligibly. His forehead rests against his forearm as he leans it on the tile over the toilet.

“This place is too weird. And you want people to vacation here? No. Absolutely not,” he says as he finally speaks up.

Okay. He’s yelling.

[hulkbusted]

"What?" Bruce has been transfixed by the sight of a version of himself who hasn't lived through Mexico or Brazil or Pakistan or Canada or South Africa or Sakovia or Sakaar.

Except his eyes are still the eyes of a man who's endured all that and isn't sure that the "learning experiences" have been worth it and who is entirely certain that he doesn't want twenty years added to his lifespan.

Up until this exact moment, he's been unaware of how much comfort he's taken in the idea that he has got to be more than halfway done with this entire farce of a life.

"No." That answer isn't especially decisive, more bemused in fact, before he puts more force into it. "No. Not Sakaar. Why can't we colonize our own planets?"

[starkingenuity]

“Our own planets? Do you want to colonize Jupiter? There’s no solid surface on Jupiter!” It’s better to argue about this than about why they are suddenly younger. Tony himself looks like a baby. He’s got to be currently in his mid twenties. And Bruce? Well he pulls off the sexy young professor really well. Either way it’s just so much easier to deal with planets than the sudden weird age gap. Or what it means for Banner. He draws his hand through his hair and flushed the toilet before he heads over to wash his hands.

He does not, however, look at himself in the mirror.

He can’t.

“And whose to say Jupiter is even ours? Humans don’t just own anything they see. Jesus Banner. Don’t be so selfish.” He's freaking out. Or trying not to and really failing miserably.

[hulkbusted]

"Jupiter? Where did you get Jupiter from?"

Jesus, Tony really does look like a baby. He's never going to be able to buy alcohol like this; his ID would be laughed out of the bar or store. Tony Stark? Yeah, right.

He leaves his toothbrush, forgotten, on the counter and moves in to scrutinize Tony's face before dropping his eyes to check his chest. The question is whether the scar's gone as well as the years.

The question clamoring in the back of his head is what Hulk would look like.

"Jupiter's a wash and you know it. Enceladus has got promise, but that's a test run at best. That might make the basket bigger, but it would still only be one for all our eggs. Humanity needs to do what we do best and expand and infest."

[starkingenuity]

“You said planet.. By what definition is Enceladus a planet?! None. If you want to reach out to moons, maybe. We could probably focus on Europa too. Make it like SeaQuest.” This nonsense talk about colonozing other worlds is at least calming to the engineer. He doesn’t sound so shrill anymore and if he keeps his eyes on the hot professor, he doesn’t have to worry about what he looks like.

The scar on his chest is still there, though, as are the scars on his back from where Loki had thrown him through the Tower window. Chronical time hasn’t shifted backwards, just age.

The Kardashians would be all over asparagus jizz in a heartbeat.

[hulkbusted]

"Mars, then, if you want to talk in-system planets. Throwing out Jupiter was just you being argumentative because that's got to be one of the least hospitable to human life planets in our solar system."

He knows that Tony sees what he sees and that his mind has to be going a thousand miles a second trying to get a handle on it. He also fully understands the tactic of distracting part of an overactive brain to split computing power and keep it from just shutting down.

Then again, he has an advantage over Tony in this situation, considering most of his own fear is in time out with his anger.

He reaches out to touch that scar and looks from there back up to Tony's too-young face. "If word of this gets out, the Earth's policy on alien immigration may be driven by the beauty industry."

[starkingenuity]

Tony’s not the type to blush, but he does right now, heart pounding in his chest. His body, this body, isn’t used to feeling touches like this anymore. His skin has turned more elastic, more supple, capable of holding more moisture, and it’s also revived much of the touch receptors that had died away as youth once had too. He can’t help but respond to Banner, to the naked guy with full, kissable lips and knowing, capable hands standing in front of him.

He swallows and turns too big eyes away from the other man, placing an uncalloused (so strange!) around Bruce’s wrist.

“So you’re saying we need to colonize Mars immediately so we can move there?” It’s a romantic thought, Stark and Banner against the world. It’s the reason they’re here together in the first place. Tony’s decided that he doesn’t need anyone else, ever, in his life. And that’s rash. Stupid. He knows. He’s just used to moving quickly with the things (and people) he wants.

He’s wanted Banner for the better part of a decade, before he ever met him, and it’s worse now.

“We’re so screwed.”

[hulkbusted]

"What you're hearing is that we need to colonize Mars immediately. I'm saying we need to colonize across the galaxy as a start." Tony's thinking romance; Bruce is still thinking practicality. He's never been good at this romance thing.

In the past day or two Bruce has had sex with both an alien and Tony and had tadpoles with one of them, has had a sizable component of his most used emotions locked in a cage, has been thrown off the top of a skyscraper, has been big and green and fully cognizant of himself after hitting the ground after that toss, has been high as giraffe genitals at least twice, has been covered in alien pollination, and now has lost a couple of decades of wear and tear. All on an alien planet he somehow thought it would be smart to visit for a break.

He's just beyond his saturation point. He has little left beyond a dry laugh for Tony's observation.

"Maybe. Probably. But that was true even before we came here." He flattens his hand out on Tony's chest, feeling the strong beat of his heart as a light vibration under his palm. "The first thing we should find out is whether this is temporary, which means trying to find some of those horny asparagus."

[starkingenuity]

There’s no such thing as practicality when it comes to Tony. He doesn’t believe in it. He believes in getting what he wants and making what he has to in order to get it. He’s a solver of problems usually, but he’s having his trouble decompressing these few moments so that he can see the big picture. The big picture is too big to comprehend and he can’t zoom out any further.

Bruce’s hand on his chest is calming at least and Tony tries to match his breathing with a man who has perfected the art of staying cool in any situation.

“Asparagus. Right. I remember where that show was,” he says, thanking his memory, before Bruce’s dark eyes distract him. “But. Does that have to be the first thing...?”

Up goes his eyebrows. He might look like a kid but he’s still Tony.

[hulkbusted]

If they were both as practical as Bruce, they wouldn't be on Sakaar. If they were both as impetuous as Tony, they'd probably hate each other. They have a balance that usually works.

Could he say this is balanced? Neither of them is teetering into an abyss, so call that a yes.

The question, though... He's smiling before he can think of any reasons to say no. The first part of his answer is the slide away from the center of Tony's chest, brushing a thumb over his nipple before sliding around his back to pull him closer.

"Are we on a tight schedule?"

[starkingenuity]

Biting his lip (that might be the sexiest thing anyone could ever do), Tony lifts his eyes again and once he steadies himself from that more than slightly aggressive tug and the resulting gasp that escaped his throat, shakes his head. “I probably have something else tight,” he grins, just perverted enough to make anyone roll their eyes and maybe chuckle too.

He lifts his arms up to set his hands on Bruce’s bare shoulders. His fingertips trace the outline of his muscles before he closes his eyes to get a kiss he rightly deserves.

How can he be held responsible?

Bruce had always been his own brand of gorgeous but now he’s got that extra sexiness that Tony can’t get away from.

“Can you fit me in, Doctor Banner?”

[hulkbusted]

It's worth both an eye-roll and a huff of amusement through his nose. "That was terrible."

Terrible, but still deserving of a kiss. Funny that his mind hasn't been affected that he can tell, but his body... Let's just say that standing naked with Tony held in his arms is getting a faster reaction from him than he's had in, well, twenty years or so?

"Terrible." He pauses for another leisurely kiss, barely needing to tilt his head up to bring their lips together before leaning in to ask in a low, rough murmur, "You need to work out whether I'm fitting you in or you're showing me what else you have that's tight."

He isn't certain he wants to go either route, but the tease... oh the tease... That's where the fun lies.

[starkingenuity]

So the fun also lies in banging each other. Bruce might only remember what it has been like to do Kiara and he might have never been with a man (it just hasn’t come up in conversation), but he probably can agree that sex is usually pretty fun.

Tony shifts his hips suggestively. “So me in You is probably safer but you in me is absolutely negotiable.”

He’s already got it figured out. Backfire!

[hulkbusted]

Sex is generally very fun. At least it is as he remembers it, and it's been fun so far with Tony. Keeping that calm upper hand isn't as easy when Tony returns the tease, though. They're fairly equally matched intellectually and have separate strengths as Avengers, but when it comes to sexual experience, Bruce is way out of his league.

"Uh... yeah." He briefly gnaws on his lower lip and leans back enough to see Tony's expression. "Never done that before." But he's absolutely not interested in ruining their already bizarre alien vacation with a broken condom. "How patient are you feeling?"

[starkingenuity]

Shocker. Tony looks bemused, mostly because he isn’t sure why the other man would question his patience. Can Tony be patient? Not likely. It’s probably one characteristic he has almost nothing of within him. The look Bruce offers in return, hope (or he just reading into that), makes Tony bite his lip again.

His friend is asking honestly if Tony can try to piece together enough scattered fragments of patience (maybe for how long it takes to make coffee and diagnostic searches) to give him just a little bit of the patience he just doesn’t have in one lump sum.

It’s sweet. And maybe a little terrifying. Tony doesn’t often change himself for anyone.

His nod is slow. Purposeful. “I... yeah. I can be as patient as you need me to be.” And that’s not just a lie to get laid.

[hulkbusted]

Bruce is asking for the kind of patience that Tony has when he's waiting for FRIDAY to finish diagnostics on a suit, the kind where he can wait as long as he has something else to do in the meantime. He fully intends to keep Tony occupied in the lead-up, but that verbal commitment from Tony is absolutely necessary.

"I... might find out it's not really my thing." This is the hardest part of what they're trying together. The intimacy, the time together, nudity and making out, they've come pretty easily, but finding where sex works is complicated for more reasons than that the best case scenario for an accident with Bruce's body fluids is Tony getting very sick.

Trying to lighten the mood now that they've gotten that detail out of the way, he drops a hand to give Tony's ass a squeeze. "If it isn't my thing, we'll get creative."

[starkingenuity]

“If it isn’t your thing, we can always just go back to being platonic genius husbands,” Tony insists with the same sort of bravado that guys tell the people they’re trying to bed every single day. It’s true that Tony will let Bruce go if that’s what Bruce wants but it’s jjst as true that it simply can’t be the same for him.

Tony Stark isn’t the playboy he used to be. Loving Pepper did him a disservice on that end. He wants commitment. He wants love. And that’s not guarenteed here.

The ass grab launches Tony into another sloppy kiss, jubilant and youthful in a way, and he wastes no time drawing his hands down the smooth skin of Bruce’s back.

“But I know how to make it your thing. If you can just promise that you’ll try to relax.”

[hulkbusted]

"I didn't say we had to go back to platonic." He uses his hold on Tony's ass to pull him in, giving a suggestive roll of his hips against him to demonstrate that there are at least some things about Tony that are his thing. His body might be younger, but his mind isn't, and he wouldn't be getting hard if he weren't enjoying some of the physicality.

Kissing Tony like this is strangely different. Is it the enthusiasm or the subtle differences in his body? He doesn't know, and doesn't really care just then.

He takes a shuffling step backward toward the bathroom door, not letting Tony go as he moves. "I think I might know one or two tricks for relaxation."

[starkingenuity]

“Is that a fact? Maybe you should teach me sometime. I’ve been told that I don’t know how.” It’s not true. Get enough alcohol in him and he’ll relax, inwardly at least, enough to let him be able to function in more socially acceptable ways until he tips over from enough to too much and blows up his own house. Being Tony Stark requires a delicate balance of volatile substances.

Bruce himself is his own brand of volatile and with him comes its own sets of challenges that Tony has once again failed to write any sort of safety protocols for. Not that it would matter. Tony doesn’t really do safety protocols.

What he does do is tempt fate and somehow crawl out the other side.

He’s hoping fate will be kinder today than it has in the last few days. It’s been so crazy here. No wonder the residents are Sakaar are so blood thirsty. Living here might do the same to both men here.

Closer to the bed, Tony give Bruce a push to either knock him back or to get the picture that he’s supposed to go that way. He’s got no worry about finding lube at least. From what he’s learned about the guy whose home this used to be, he had a large share of stocks in it. But here’s where Tony’s patience is going to shine. He needs to do more than reach for the stuff to slick himself up. He wants to be part of Bruce’s relaxation technique too.



[So sorry for the absenteeism. We go away on vacation tomorrow (for a week) and we have been trying to get ready for that. My tagging is going to be awful until next Monday but I’ll try to get at least one or two in a day! I think we get WiFi on the plane.]

[hulkbusted]

From Bruce's experience of Tony, it's possible to get him to relax without alcohol, but it requires throwing out enough challenges to his intellect that his neuroses can't find a way through to catch his attention. It ain't easy.

Knowing that, he shakes his head and gives an affectionate snort. "I'd have to nail you to the floor and you still wouldn't meditate."

The push sends him back and he doesn't try to keep his balance when the bed catches him behind the knees, just catches himself on one hand and scoots to get entirely up on the bed. "Looks like you just volunteered to go get condoms from FRIDAY."

If Tony plays his cards right, he might even get a bit of a show from Bruce, idly touching himself while he waits for Tony to join him.


[No worries! Have a great vacation and a safe trip!]

[starkingenuity]

[Back now! We had such miserable cell reception. But it was super fun!]

Oh, Tony never worries about how he plays his cards. The guy exudes luck the way everyone else swears. The fact that he’s lived this long through this much crazy proves it. He wasn’t just born with a silver spoon in his mouth, he’s never had the decency to spit it out.

It takes him a minute to find another condom, to find some lube, and to find his footing back to Bruce and he is not disappointed when he steps back through the doorway.

Yikes. Bruce has always had a magnetism about him, but whatever that asparagus jizz did to them both has the younger looking professor just gorgeous. Tony groans and he’s not even touching himself. He’s pretty sure he could come if he stared too long.

“Hey-Hey. Hands off while the ball’s not in play.” He tosses the lube on the bed and half pounces on Banner. He can’t help it. He’ll die if he doesn’t kiss him.

[hulkbusted]

[The important part is the having fun part anyway! Welcome back!]

Now is not the time for either of them to consider the inevitability of luck running out. Now is the time to enjoy the luck while it lasts.

Once upon a time Bruce had had a long-term partner and a healthy sex life. He's incredibly rusty at this stage in the game, but he's hardly a blushing virgin, and with fear largely on vacation, he has no reason not to try everything at least once to decide if he likes it.

He's already reaching for Tony to pull him in, laughing a little, a little high just on the desire that Tony can't hide or fake. No matter how oblivious he might be to how someone feels about him, he can't miss this.

"I was keeping the balls in play." Tony deserves that after his earlier remark.

He hooks a leg behind Tony's, wraps arms around him, and raises his head to meet him for a hard kiss. Sakaar has been insane, this is probably insane, but just then this beautiful, damaged, brilliant man is his.