Who the Hell is Bucky?

[starkingenuity]

"So you cut your hair, destroyed SHIELD, get Fury killed and now you want to team up again?"  Tony turned in his swivel chair three quarters to the left and two to the right like some evil super villain while Bruce Banner rolled his eyes behind him.  Wisely, he stayed quiet.  Being Tony's 'other half' and his 'soul mate' and worse, his therapist, was enough to give him a good enough idea of what staying quiet tended to do for him.

Chiefly?  He didn't get pulled into these sorts of conversations.

"And did you like grow another three inches around your biceps?  It's people like you that make it harder for ordinary guys to get dates on Friday night."

Comments

[whothehellisbucky]

Bucky never noticed the scars. He didn't remember how he had gotten them. He barely remembered what it was like to get wiped. Or that it happened to him over and over again. He stood facing front in the elevator, not looking at all like a soon to be lover. He didn't touch Steve. He didn't stroke his back or hold his hand or kiss him. They might as well be strangers for the way that Bucky behaved right up until the door to Steve's bedroom was opened.

It was all manic. Bucky pushed Steve back hard enough to rent the wall and followed him with his body, mouth as hot and wanton as it had been previously. He shoved him back into the closet next before dragging him into bed.

One of the baseboards snapped. Bucky never noticed. It did, however, make Tony cringe. This was becoming more violent than stimulating.

Which, in turn, was pretty hot.

He was pretty glad now that Steve hadn't found all of the cameras.

[starspangledspandex]

He wishes he could be inside Bucky's head right now just so he could know what the man is thinking. It's hard staring at him in the elevator and not being able to understand why he isn't handsy or all over him in here. He hears that they're good for that sort of thing. He assumes it will be different when they get to his place; he hopes so anyway. Seems like a waste otherwise.

Steve is almost startled by how quickly Bucky grabs him and he feels the wall buckle under the man's strength. To his surprise, he finds himself even more turned on than he had been before now and he meets the kiss desperately. He grunts as he hits the door to the closet and it doesn't give but he doesn't have time to care.

He arches as he hits the bed and he notices the snap but he'll deal with it later, probably in an embarrassing conversation with someone that will want to know how it had happened. Steve spreads his legs, reaching a hand up toward his pillow where the bottle of lube is hiding and stares at Bucky all the while.

[starkingenuity]

There might one day come a time when Bucky realized he was making too much out of everything, that this need to control was only part of the fact that he'd had no control at all for most of his long, unremembered life. But seeing Steve with lubrication (and not connecting that masturbation required a little bit of lube once in awhile as he was from a time when such things were not readily available) just made him angry all over again.

He snatched the bottle with his less than human hand and the plastic tore at the seam down the side, gooping up his fingers and his palm and running down his forearm. "Who else has had you?"

Tony cursed the screen again and sat back, dick out and untouched. "Worst porno ever."

[starspangledspandex]

He doesn't mind the control. They might have to work on it a little but for right now, Steve thinks that Bucky needs it. He's been controlled for so long it's almost thrilling to see him make this choice now.

Steve stares at the way the bottle splits. He's not immediately sure what the man is mad about but he explains it quickly enough. He's being possessive and jealous. On anyone else, that might be bad. To Steve, he thinks it means the man is finally realizing that he's allowed to have things and make choices.

"No one," he responds honestly. "Just makes it easier sometimes." He makes an aborted jerking motion with his hand in the direction of his erection.

[whothehellisbucky]

No man or woman alive would have been kind to Bucky, kind and gentle, after being accused of spreading their legs like that for other people but Captain America was a man like no other and Tony pushed away from his console and looked up at the ceiling as Bucky dropped the bottle and cautiously crawled into bed with the blond.

There were more kisses to go with Bucky's already slick fingers finding and slipping into Steve's opening. He didn't make much of a show of it. He didn't seem to recall a thing about foreplay. At least he wasn't rough.

The metal warmed to Steve's internal temperature and his finger had quite a lot of reach and bend that others might not. He said nothing else for some time, finding a sort of contentment in finger fucking his childhood crush and best friend into his broken mattress.

He liked the sounds it pulled from Steve. He liked knowing he was the cause.

[starspangledspandex]

He can be accused all he wants but so long as he's listened to and believed, Steve doesn't care. He understands that Bucky is uncertain and still finding his way in the world. He's just glad that he's showing an attachment to something even if it is overly possessive.

Blue eyes watch as the other man crawls onto the bed and he gasps, eyes widening as the metal fingers slide inside of him. This is something Steve hadn't even known he'd wanted. He jerks and groans, hips twisting into the man's hand. He doesn't hide his excitement or any of the sounds he makes and whimpers occasionally when Bucky hits somewhere that feels really good.

Even he gets impatient, however, and he drags the other man down for a kiss. "I'm ready. Come on."

[whothehellisbucky]

"You always think you're ready before you are," Bucky said, somewhere in the vicinity of Steve's broad left shoulder where he was purposefully worrying a bit of skin, knowing full well that it wouldn't matter. Steve might bruise for a moment, but it wouldn't last. "You'll just get your nose bloodied again." It was kind. It was Bucky.

He didn't even realize what he had said or how important it was to have that small breakthrough. Even now, admist the chaos his mind filled with blank emptiness, he was focusing on Steve, on memories of Steve, on the boy he held only once and apologized for initiating something that could get them both killed.

Bucky wasn't going to make Steve wait too long, however. He flipped him easily (for a man that size to be moved at all required more effort than Tony could imagine outside of the suit he had destroyed) and grabbed his hips to steady him.

"Don't hold your breath," he grunted and thrust in.

[starspangledspandex]

"Maybe," Steve says in response, eyes sparkling a bit mischievously because it really had sounded like Bucky right then and that's what he wants more than anything--his friend to feel like himself again. It's a pleasant surprise. "You know the other guy will look worse though," he tells him with a half chuckle and a half groan, which had been more than a lie back then but now it's probably true.

He blinks in surprise when he's flipped over, hands curling in the blankets and thanks to Bucky having fun he's definitely well stretched. Steve hadn't expected this but wow is he being surprised in all the best ways today. He keeps as relaxed as he can and his groan is deep when the man thrusts home. The stretch is exquisite and perfect. Steve jerks backward against him and pants heavily, his face toward the camera he doesn't know is there. It feels good. More than good.

"Bucky..." he groans, shifting his hips and flexing around the other man. He breathes out heavily, "Oh..."

[starkingenuity]

Tony's eyes widened slightly to see and hear the heat in Steve's voice. He'd looked up 'Avengers Porn' a few times online but he'd never been faced with this... Sure, there had been a few close look alikes and they tended to be doing women they had rescued, and maybe he had watched a few where Steve was suppose to be the main player (complete with awkward dialogue) but Tony hadn't expected to see--

Bucky grunted over Steve's back as they moved (and the bed broke more). He shifted his hand to rest on the other's shoulder and then to thread through his hair as he hammered into him.

Tony found himself wishing he had a better angle to see just how perfectly a person' cock could fill up Captain America but.. Well, he'd settle for staring at Steve's face until a metal hand reached around to jerk his new lover off.

Tony's hand followed in time with Bucky's. He was going to need therapy after this for sure.

[starspangledspandex]

He is definitely more than willing to voice how good this feels and he's nearly incoherent as he does . It's been a long time for Steve and well, jacking off is great but there's something to be said for the spontaneity of having a partner in bed with him. It's worth the broken bed and he'll be looking into either getting it reinforced or finding a sturdier location to be fucked like this.

"Yes, yes..." He moans as the man hammers into him and he's hitting the perfect spot to make him squirm and his hands curl tight enough into his blankets that they threatens to tear. Being held down is even more exciting than he'd dreamed. Steve has very little control of what's going on right now and honestly, he doesn't want it. He wants the fingers in his hair holding him in place.

When wraps around his length again, it nearly undoes him right then and he's not far off at all though it won't take him long to bounce back if Bucky wants a round two. Or three. His hips jerk steadily between the man's hand and Bucky's cock slamming deep. A few more minutes and his breath hitches, "Bucky, I'm close... I'm.."

[whothehellisbucky]

Bucky wasn't so easily finished off until the spasm of Steve's orgasm, the shudder that ran through him, and the very sound if the blond coming broke the dam. He wasn't as loud as Steve was, but he buried himself to the hilt and moaned towards the ceiling. He could feel every inch of himself tremble in that moment and it was over too quickly. Too entirely quickly.

Long hair dripping with sweat, Bucky pulled out none too gently and dropped back against uneven pillows. That left Steve postured there, ass still in the air, semen slowly dripping down his testicles and thighs.

"I broke your bed," he said with such a blank voice that even Tony was startled by it. So cold. How could anyone be so cold? "Will I be punished?"

All right. Not cold at all. Just....use to getting into trouble for not following every rule.

"Will you be?"

[starspangledspandex]

His groan as he spills himself on Bucky's hand and the bed below is vaguely of the man's name. His hands really do rip the comforter this time and he can't even bring himself to care. He pants heavily, groaning again when Bucky drives in to fill him up and is still catching his breath when the man pulls away. For a few moments, he doesn't even care that he looks like something out of a porno. That had been... Wow. His head tilts toward Bucky at the question and he rolls onto his side, glancing down at the creaking.

The flat voice is terrible after sex. Steve takes a seek breath to clear some of the haze and shakes his head, "No, neither of us will be punished. Worst thing that might happen is Tony teasing us endlessly about it if he finds out how it happened. Otherwise? No. We can do what we want together. We should, uh, probably watch where though. Don't know that I want someone walking in on is in the middle." Steve chuckles slightly, eyes watching Bucky, "Not allowed to be naked outside or in other parts of the tower but in here, in my apartment, you can."

[whothehellisbucky]

The tightness in Bucky's shoulders dropped when Steve confirmed that there would not be any repercussions from what happened and he released the breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding. He sat back up and climbed out of the broken bed before he reached down to pull Steve up as well.

"I won't go naked outside of your apartment," he repeated, as he had always repeated orders, and took Steve by the arm to pull him into the bathroom.

It could have been a little more romantically done and not made the scene look more like a prison shake, but alas. You got what you could get.

Tony exhaled and wiped up. There weren't any cameras in the bathroom.

[starspangledspandex]

He was relieved that the man took him at his word; it showed a measure of trust in Steve that sometimes he wasn't sure existed yet in Bucky's mind. Obviously, things were changing and that was good. He was doing his best to get the man back into the world.

"Alright, good," Steve took his hand and smiled as Bucky pulled him up to standing. He was basically dragged into the bathroom but that was okay. They would work on it. "You're welcome to be naked here as much as you want," he added with a slightly sheepish grin. "I mean, if we have people here you probably shouldn't but otherwise..."

Steve laughed lightly and decided he should clarify, "I'm hitting on you, by the way." He hoped Bucky would understand. It was a new turn of phrase.

[whothehellisbucky]

Well now that was just confusing. "I felt nothing," he said, cold eyes hiding a somewhat childlike curiosity about everything Steve said to him sometimes. This was just what Tony felt, no doubt, when he had first given Steve an iPod. And slang?

Slang was just something that had to be picked up slowly, with time.

Letting Steve go, Bucky brushed his metallic hand against his bare arm and frowned.

[starspangledspandex]

"Just means I have the hots for you," Steve replied and he shrugged, he was happy to explain anything that Bucky seemed curious about at all. "I don't know where they got 'hitting on someone' but it's not literal. Got me."

He hesitated for a moment and then reached out to brush Bucky's hand. He wished the other man's eyes weren't so cold when they watched him but he knew that was paranoia and seventy years of torture. "Maybe I'll just stick with the old stuff until you remember better. You're a looker, Bucky."

Whether that's any better or not really doesn't matter. Steve just likes the opportunity to compliment the other man.

[whothehellisbucky]

"You're..." The word stuck to his tongue and Bucky looked down at the way Steve touched him, the way he lightly took his hand. He was patient sometimes, the opposite of patient other times and Bucky just kept trying to grasp one mode to be. He was comfortable with that.

It was easier than bouncing back and forth again. It took a real effort to regulate his emotions already!

His eyes trailed up Steve's hand to his wrist and arm and shoulder and chest and he grasped his fingers a little too tightly.

The edges of his lips turned up somewhat. "You're beautiful. Can't get that out of my head. Must have always thought so."

[starspangledspandex]

He waited, still patient, as Bucky tried to piece together just what Steve was and he knew that the man bounced around a lot but that was okay.

The words made him beam a little, eyes crinkling in honest happiness as he smiles warmly at Bucky and his chest tightens. Those were much better words to hear than most of the ones he was getting out of the other man recently. "I hope so," he told him. "We were pretty sweet on each other."

Steve tilted his head slightly, "You told me that quite a bit, even if I didn't always believe it when you said it."

[whothehellisbucky]

There was this sense that Steve had always been there. That Steve was the stronger, most important force in his life and meeting him was the singularly most influential moment of his past. He just couldn't remember the hows or the whys. There was just a damned trash can lid and bright blue eyes and scrawny arms he had to hold onto so that the boy they belonged to didn't slip away.

But he had. He'd left him. And then he changed. They both had.

"I never wanted any of this," he blurted out suddenly. "I didn't want to join up. I wanted to stay with you." He grasped onto Steve's hand so tightly. "But they forced me. Whoever thought up the draft was a damned idiot and I hope they--"

Well, he actually wasn't sure what he hoped. Things kept getting more and more confused in his mind. Like the fact, for instance, that Steve always thought he had enlisted.

[starspangledspandex]

He wouldn't know where that train of thought was coming from if he heard it. Bucky was there for him through everything, even when he had nothing. He was the one that kept saving Steve from all the stupid situations he got himself into. When Bucky told him he was going with the army, well, he couldn't stay behind. He couldn't and that was why he fought tooth and nail for it.

It was worth the change in him. Bucky was an entirely different story.

Steve stared at the other man in shock, expression falling and the grip on his hand was almost painful but he didn't feel it. Steve was too busy turning the words over in his head.

"You... you were drafted?" he whispered, hardly daring to believe the words.

[whothehellisbucky]

Drafted. Yes. He'd cried at the table when he'd gotten the letter than put on a brave face. He'd nearly made it to the end of the war, something he had realized not all that long ago as he stood looking at the display in the Smithsonian. Nearly made it and had been drafted. He felt cold about it now, cold with a bit of melting around the edges.

"From what I read, they were taking everyone." He let go of Steve's hand and cooly leaned over to start the shower. He was sticky, it was unpleasant, and he knew better than to present himself that way.

His handlers always liked him clean. Before missions and after, even if he had to be brought down because of a glitch in his wipes. It made him flinch to think about it.

"It was only a matter of time before my name came up." Thank you, America, for getting Bucky in this mess to begin with.

[starspangledspandex]

A single word shouldn't have so much power behind it. It shouldn't make Steve feel like he was knifed in the gut and twisted around for no good reason. Drafted. The man didn't even want to go to war and his whole life was ruined because of it. Seventy years of torture and it wasn't even his choice to begin with.

"Everyone except me," Steve replied, shoulders slouching. A large part of his insistence on going was because Bucky was going. He couldn't just sit there and let his friend die for him. "And here I was so insistent on going," he dragged a hand through his hair. "I just didn't want you to have to go alone. I didn't want to have to just sit there and wait for a letter and wonder if I could have done something."

He watched as Bucky turned on the shower and he stepped up to his back, wrapping his arms gently around the man's waist.

[whothehellisbucky]

Grabbing Steve's arm, Bucky attempted to throw the blond over his shoulder and into the bath tub. He couldn't stomach being startled. Instinct kicked in long before any other response did. While one man would happily lean back against his lover, Bucky strove to hurt, disarm, incapacitate.

In that order.

He was breathing hard and immediately confused and then worried. Whatever he had managed to do to Steve (and the furniture in the bathroom) had not been strictly intentional.

[starspangledspandex]

Honestly, Steve should have seen that one coming. It was stupid and every single bottle in the bathtub fell on his head to drill in the reminder. He took a moment to make sure that nothing was broken or missing before he moved.

"My fault," he groaned from the tangled up mess of his limbs in the tub and thanks to the water being on, he was also wet, which was not making it easy to sort things out. He reached up for the bar so he could get his feet under him. "I know better than to startle you. You alright?"

He was more worried about whether Bucky was going to just freak out on him now or if he would calm down and realize that it was just Steve than he was about any damage.

[whothehellisbucky]

There was a gaping piece of marble missing from the tub. Part of it was Bucky's strength, the rest was the sheer size of his friend turned lover turned Captain turned enemy turned colleague turned lover all over again. So Bucky took a step back even as Steve stood. Plastic bottles of various expensive and sweet smelling liquids covered him and the tub.

He swallowed. He stood back another step.

"You can't take all the blame." Not for who he was. Not for a single choice that had been made for him. Bucky wasn't blameless but he knew he hadn't held any of the cards.