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Date: 2018-01-02 07:11 pm (UTC)"The rest can get pretty messy." For both of them. If Bruce were emotionally whole, he might even be plotting how to run again once they get home because fear of himself and of Hulk has cut him off from relationships for an achingly long time.
He's cut off from anger and most of his fear, but he isn't cut off from that lonely landscape in his soul where he hasn't let anyone walk since he left Betty to give her a chance at a normal life. Is Tony going to fit there? He doesn't know, but just then it feels worth it to try.
Decision made, he nods a little to himself and turns around in the circle of Tony's arm to meet his eyes. "Okay, let's give this a try. Privately. And if the getting naked together part doesn't work out, we get joint custody of the friendship."
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Date: 2018-01-02 10:26 pm (UTC)He can agree to the friendship too, and nods eagerly. He’s not sure if Bruce just knows he needs to hear that or if he really means it. Either way, Tony is going for the former. He releases his hold on Bruce and reaches behind him to shut off the shower.
“I still kinda want that pizza,” he says. “Or burger. If I promise to keep my hands to myself, can we get some alien fast food before I kick your ass in a game?”
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Date: 2018-01-02 10:44 pm (UTC)"Have you figured out the money problem?" Stepping back, he swipes a hand down his torso to wipe away the water droplets that cling to his chest and body hair. "Since we aren't thieves."
Tony isn't a thief. Bruce? Well, he doesn't have a pressing need to steal today.
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Date: 2018-01-02 11:36 pm (UTC)If Tony Stark had a spirit animal, it would absolutely be the cat. He likes small spaces, sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong, and being aloof to nearly everyone.
“On a scale of one to five, how likely do you think this place has a health code?” he yells before he immediately follows that up with telling Bruce not to answer.
He kind of misses New York.
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Date: 2018-01-02 11:59 pm (UTC)Bruce follows him into the bedroom, still toweling off. "Try to convince them that you're an Asgardian. I think most of the people around here know not to mess with Asgardians. Not all of them are built like Thor."
And he doesn't need to say a word to give Tony an answer to the question he's not supposed to answer. The towel goes over the back of a chair before he flops down on the bed on his stomach, feet dangling off the edge because Tony takes up exactly as much space as anyone who knows him would expect him to.
"I'm gonna suggest you bring a suit along to check the food for you before you give it a try." Besides, they could use the firepower if they need to beat a hasty retreat.
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Date: 2018-01-03 12:12 am (UTC)Tony can only hope.
He sighs up at the ceiling and then gets to his feet. His jeans are... there. And his shirt is there. He’s brought other clothes but he doesn’t seem to mind these other ones. That’s the power of the hot tub.
There’s still a bit of a dreamy look in his eyes.
“FRIDAY can come along on guard duty. And to carry home packages.” He finds the credit stick in his pocket and tosses it at Bruce on the bed. “Come on, old man. Let’s get a little nightlife going here!”
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Date: 2018-01-03 12:59 am (UTC)"I don't think human carries the same weight of 'oh shit' that Asgardian does. Since you don't do quiet and unobtrusive, we're probably going to want a certain degree of 'oh shit.'"
He doesn't get up immediately, choosing to roll onto his back first to watch Tony trying to hunt down his clothes. Having a credit stick tossed at him is his cue to fumble-catch it and get up to put his own clothes on.
"So Sakaaran pizza and then back up here for the a night so nerdy we won't want NASA to find out we ruined a lot of human 'firsts,' right?"
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Date: 2018-01-03 01:35 am (UTC)It’s all for snow. He’s in no real hurry but the world constantly expects him to be and who is Tony but a man that delivers on the abysmal expectations of the world?
Two scientists, fresh from bath time trusts, and a robot being controlled by an AI assistant head down in the elevator not too long after. No one immediately jumps them so that’s got to be a good sign, right?
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Date: 2018-01-03 03:38 am (UTC)He doesn't waste time getting dressed, dragging clean clothes out of "his" suit to pull on a pair of stretchy pants and a soft gray oxford shirt. His version of ready for the worst.
Not that he has any idea how he'd manage a transformation if that level of emergency comes up, but if it does, and if he does, at least he or Hulk- whichever of them ends up in the green body - can maintain a modicum of modesty.
Sure, not getting immediately mugged is a good sign. Bruce finds himself turning around in the same kind of wonder he remembers from his last (first) outing on the streets of Sakaar, without the mounting terror and Hulk shouting for freedom that had dogged him them.
"Try not to step on anyone," he mutters as he ducks under the arm of a large gray man with three heads. "Some people really don't like that."
The first stall that he finds that looks like it sells food... sells (maybe) food that's still moving. "Not pizza, let's move on."
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Date: 2018-01-03 04:16 am (UTC)Bruce probably shouldn’t have to feel like a babysitter (or a substitute nanny), but he probably will by the time he can get Tony something to eat that smells relatively like fast food and isn’t still alive.
By that point, Tony’s already picked up some of the language and has bartered for god knows what to mess with later. He’s a magpie. Shiny pieces of metal attract him.
The sun’s gone down. All of the moons are out. There’s singing and there’s nightlife and Tony suddenly would rather be here then anywhere else.
Especially when he spots the plush Hulk doll.
“Oh. My. God. That’s mine.”
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Date: 2018-01-03 04:27 am (UTC)And he can't help but feel somewhat responsible for Tony when he's the reason that Tony's here in the first place. Eventually he just ends up grabbing Tony's belt loop just to keep from being separated from him in the crowds. It's either that or a leash.
And then Tony spots the doll and all Bruce can do is roll his eyes and hand over the credit stick. "You realize it isn't going to fit in a suit to take it home?"
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Date: 2018-01-03 10:25 pm (UTC)Because this is coming home with him one way or another. And he really thinks that they need to market the Hulk a little better back home. Halloween costumes and pajamas are one thing. But dolls?
Why did he never think of that? Especially since, in theory, the Hulk-As-Banner really could be cuddly now.
“For when you’re gone.”
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Date: 2018-01-03 10:42 pm (UTC)Maybe he can just "accidentally" forget it when they head back to Earth.
"I've barely even had a chance to be not gone and you're already planning for when I'm gone." He eyes the Hulk doll with all the pleasure and desire to cuddle that he'd give a cobra. "I guess I deserve that."
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Date: 2018-01-04 02:33 am (UTC)A leash isn’t needed outside of the bedroom and Tony is pretty sure that Banner is going to need s lot of vanilla sex before they move it to the next level.
It takes ten minutes more to find likely non-sentient food that is vaguely pizza like. It takes fifteen minutes after that to get back to the penthouse. It takes half an hour to tease one another and eat.
And then right in the middle of a successful, offline game of Call of Duty, Sakaar has to go and throw another curve ball by turning all the lights out.
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Date: 2018-01-04 03:04 am (UTC)He's been lost in this city before, of course he hooks a finger in Tony's belt. The first time had been more than enough, and he can do it here without attracting the kind of attention that they'd get anywhere on Earth.
By the time Tony is once again kicking his ass at Call of Duty, Bruce is almost tempted to suggest that they should just emigrate to Sakaar and let other people destroy Earth without their assistance.
And then the lights go out and Bruce drops his controller to roll off the bed and check out the window to see if the power outage is widespread - it isn't.
"I think they finally noticed there are squatters in the penthouse."
Then he's dropping to his belly as a ship zips up into his line of sight and paints the entire penthouse in a sudden grid of green light.
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Date: 2018-01-04 05:22 pm (UTC)He no sooner army crawls over when the windows are shot out and he covers his head as best he can.
It’s not the best of days, that’s for sure, though one might argue that it had been pretty great right up until a few seconds ago.
“Grandmaster! Show yourself!”
The voice, obviously, is looking for the original occupant of the penthouse, and it sounds gruff and unhappy. “Not a well liked leader, huh? Common problem no matter where you go I guess,” Tony shrugs as if he isn’t about to be shot.
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Date: 2018-01-04 05:56 pm (UTC)"Stay down and let's try not to kill anyone, okay? These people have a right to be pissed off." With that, he stands up, hands raised and open to show that he's unarmed.
The scanning green lights seem to cocoon him as he moves toward the balcony one slow step at a time until he's out in full view. There's a brief silence before the voice comes again. "Sending out a servant while you cower on the floor? Last chance. Show yourself!"
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Date: 2018-01-04 06:11 pm (UTC)He pulls himself up, but his hands remain more or less down, hidden by the blackness around the focal point of the light.
“For the record, I’m not cowering. We were just trying out the hot tub. You’re not here for the are you? Shit, Banner, if they take our hot tub, what are we going to do for fun?”
“Hands up!” the man shouts and Tony, finally, seems to understand that fun and games have to be over for a little while. “Who else is with you?”
“No one. The door was open. We took advantage,” he calls back.
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Date: 2018-01-04 07:17 pm (UTC)Of course, unlike Tony, Bruce is nigh impossible to kill.
"Send someone in to look around if you want. It's just the two of us." And FRIDAY in two highly weaponized suits, but let's not draw attention to that. "No one else was using the space."
Again there's a brief silence before the ship hovers closer and a hatch opens in its front to allow a small, hip-high being that bears a startling resemblance to a brick to jump down onto the balcony with an impact that manages to make the floor vibrate.
"If you move, Zero up there's going to shoot you both," the brick says in a voice that inappropriately reminds Bruce of a 1930s gangster movie tough guy. "I say go ahead and move."
With that he stomps into the penthouse to start searching for the Grandmaster.
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Date: 2018-01-04 07:28 pm (UTC)Zero looks about ready to shoot anyway, mostly because Tony is Tony. Anyone who doesn’t know him, his family, or his genius pretty much wants to kill him on sight. He snorts at Banner. “I can get rid of ‘em for yah,” he grunts, nodding at Tony, who looks offended.
The point is to play this up. To be distracting. If they’re idiots, squatters, just a couple of guys new to this place, they’re going to get off a lot more easily.
“It’d be quick. Ping ping. Not much mess.”
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Date: 2018-01-05 02:12 am (UTC)Zero, who's surprisingly humanoid barring the luminescent blue skin and snakelike eyes shoots Tony an alarmed look and starts to raise his weapon.
"Not literally!" Bruce waves his hands to get Zero's attention away from Tony. "I just meant he gets more likable when you get to know him."
The brick is still thudding around the penthouse, and if Bruce could spare some attention away from Zero, he might be bemused to see him lifting the bed with one hand to look underneath. Between that and the cracks he's leaving in the tiles hint that he's from a heavy gravity planet.
"What's this?" he calls back to them, flicking one of the suits with a finger that makes its servos whine as it compensates for the impact and stays upright. "Is he hiding inside this thing?"
"Crack it open," Zero calls. "Get at the sweet meat inside."
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Date: 2018-01-05 02:40 am (UTC)“Aw,” Tony says, though Bruce can likely tell he’s heartbroken. “My chips.”
“Only garbage. No sweet meats. And no credits either,” the brick laments, kicking through the packaged snacks like a really weird piñata. The armor is in ruins on the floor, jagged like a can opener. “But the Grandmaster left his things behind. Throw these two out and help me gather the goods, Z!”
Tony’s head whips around. “I really hate being thrown off of penthouses!” Zero doesn’t seem to care what Tony wants, though, because one moment there are three people on the balcony, and the next, the grows on you fungus is gone.
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Date: 2018-01-05 03:03 am (UTC)Well, shit. There goes my ride home.
Which promptly becomes the least of their worries when Tony goes for a fall.
"FRIDAY!"
Good thing there are two suits.
Bruce has barely enough time to shout for FRIDAY - and he's going to count on her to prioritize Tony's safety - before he's backing away from Zero's terrifyingly fast advance and getting some airtime of his own.
Anger might be suppressed, most of the fear tied to it might be suppressed, but when it comes to survival, that particular fear is tied to instinct too fundamental to life to be suppressed, and Bruce grabs onto it like the literal lifeline that it is.
Fear - he knows just how much it's going to hurt to hit the ground.
Fear - Tony's falling now, too, and all he has just that moment is hope that FRIDAY will get to him before the brick destroys that suit, too.
Fear - that goddammit again he gets close to someone and it leads to them being hurt or maybe even killed.
Anger - that this is his life.
Rage - that this is his life.
And there's that trigger, right in his grasp. He reaches for it, and starts to change.
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Date: 2018-01-05 03:13 am (UTC)That thought turns quickly into how he wishes he could pick up the archaic dinosaur phone he was given and dial the only number saved in the address book and listen to the guy that picks up say hello as if his voice is made of rays of sunshine. Tony never answers back. They just stay on the phone for five or ten minutes before Tony hangs up, finally letting go of s breath he’d been holding.
It’s complicated between himself and Rogers. It’s complicared, and not in a good way, because he’s falling to his doom and he’s thinking only about him.
The ground comes up startling quickly before a red and gold bullet shoots by him and wraps him up with enough automatic pressure to keep his bones from breaking when the suit and not the ground stops his tumbling mass mid-tumble.
He’s a little sick to his stomach when he opens his eyes. The world is right side up, at least. “FRIDAY? Where’s Banner?” He doesn’t like the answer. He rarely does. Because even if he doesn’t hit the ground, something else way larger does.
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Date: 2018-01-05 03:26 am (UTC)He lies there, ears ringing and body screaming at him in quickly decreasing volume as it repairs itself and he can push himself up to sitting, rubbing a huge hand on his head while he tries to get his bearings.
Around him, a few citizens are venturing closer, one word penetrating the fading din in his ears - Hulk. They take a few steps back when he gets unsteadily to his feet and turns a slow circle, looking up at the shattered overhang he'd crashed through, and from there searching the sky for some sign of red and gold.
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