Who the Hell is Bucky?

[starkingenuity]

"So you cut your hair, destroyed SHIELD, get Fury killed and now you want to team up again?"  Tony turned in his swivel chair three quarters to the left and two to the right like some evil super villain while Bruce Banner rolled his eyes behind him.  Wisely, he stayed quiet.  Being Tony's 'other half' and his 'soul mate' and worse, his therapist, was enough to give him a good enough idea of what staying quiet tended to do for him.

Chiefly?  He didn't get pulled into these sorts of conversations.

"And did you like grow another three inches around your biceps?  It's people like you that make it harder for ordinary guys to get dates on Friday night."

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[starkingenuity]

"Do you think you are?" If one person should trust their instincts, it's Steve Rogers. Tony would bet his entire fortune on it. Tony leans against the door and keeps his arms crossed. His eyes trail from the blond to the sound of the muffled, growling sobs coming from the other room. "Is it more than just what you're hoping for?"

They could take to Bruce. There had to be some therapy regimen for this that doesn't include beating down his tower.

[starspangledspandex]

He thinks about the question for a moment, "I think so? It's hard to tell. He doesn't say much unless I encourage him but I still think he's keeping a lot to himself."

Steve gives the other room a sad look. "I just want him to remember so he knows that Hydra hasn't been his whole life. That there are other things, better things to do with himself than the next mission. It's no way to live."

His shoulders slump, "I hope that still includes me but if he can't... I understand. I just want him to realize he's more than a weapon and be able to make decisions himself."

[starkingenuity]

"Huh. That's just sappy enough to be believable," Tony says, though it has nothing to do with being cruel at all. He has little against Steve, minus the size of his fucking arms, and they've worked together here and there...enough that, perhaps, they might call each other colleagues. If not friends.

He lightly pats Steve on the shoulder and then gives him a shove that likely won't move the blond.

"I think in this case you should keep pursuing. Eventually he'll be rubbed down to nothing and then you can work your insanely not-as-handsome-as-me-but-still-up-there charm."

[starspangledspandex]

He shoots Tony a look. He had meant it, sappy or not. If his friend doesn't want him in his life after he remembers, he'll probably be heartbroken but as long as he's back to making his own choices, Steve really will leave him alone.

Steve doesn't move at the push but his expression does get more resolved and he nods, "It might mean a few more dents in your wall."

[starkingenuity]

"Do you think you can have those dents down in the gym? I reinforced it specifically for that reason. Or use the swimming pool. It's almost Hulk proof!" Tony just wants to get the Hulk in swim trunks, all right? He just wants...he wants Steve to smile again.

Without waiting for a reply, Tony leaves. He's done the best he can being a friend. The rest is up to Steve.

[starspangledspandex]

Steve considers for a moment, "I'll try to direct him that way. You might have more sandbags to replace but I guess that's better than the wall."

He probably won't be smiling for awhile Tony. This process is going to be hard on them both and for different reasons. He's about to say thank you when the man walks out and he shakes his head, then goes to quietly knock on Bucky's door.

"There's a workout room downstairs. Tony reinforced the sandbags so I could take my feelings out on them. I'll show you where it is if you're interested."

[whothehellisbucky]

There aren't even bruises on his knuckles, not because he'd used the metal arm to shove his anger through the drywall, but because of what science could do. Science, so much like Tony's science. Or Bruce's. And yet, this time around, it had been used to turn a man into a living weapon.

When Bucky answers, he just looks sad. Confused. And very red eyed.

"Yeah...yeah actually... Want to spar?"

[starspangledspandex]

Honestly, he hadn't expected bruises. Steve knows what it's like to be turned into a weapon, at least partly, though his had been completely voluntary and he had control over who he worked for. Bucky had neither and now he's directionless.

He looks a little surprised at the question but he nods, "Sure, let me change into something better real quick." Khakis are not sparing clothes.

[whothehellisbucky]

Bucky is brutal enough to make Tony get to his feet twice. Steve more or less can hold his own, they're so equally matched, but Bucky looks like he wants to kill something and in all honesty, Tony isn't wrong about that observation.

Bucky slams Steve into the wall as many times as he's able, panting heavily, breathing into his face. Blue eyes so close gave Bucky pause. His lips part. Steve smells familiar.

Tony gets up for the third time when a slam into the wall turns into what looks like two men trying to bite each other's faces off. Both dark eyebrows raise. "J-- Record."

"Of course, Sir."

[starspangledspandex]

He doesn't go easy on Bucky but he lets him lead the fight. He gives pretty good but the other man has a lot more to get off his chest than Steve and he lets him do it, just like he had on the Helicarrier. He's going to be sore in the morning but that's alright.

Steve grapples with Bucky and stares back at him as he pants. It's probably a bad train of thought to think about how sexy the other man manhandling him is right now. He barely remembers Steve and what they had shared. That had been way back, before the war even.

The kiss is a surprise but Steve doesn't even question it. He kisses back and just as hard as Bucky. He doesn't know if this is because of memories or just built up tension but he'll worry about it later. He assumes, in his brief consideration of this turn of events, that there are memories there.

Instead of trying to push him away, his hands just rest where they had fallen and he lets Bucky control it, just like he had the spar.

[whothehellisbucky]

Bucky can't remember ever being kissed or ever kissing anyone else. Not even his family. He doesn't remember what Steve had been to him, late at night when they had set up the couch cushion bed but Steve had crawled into his own. He doesn't know how he's laid awake, staring at the dark ceiling beyond his view, wishing and wanting for things he could not ever have.

And then, one very restless night, did actually have...only to immediately turn on his heels. Bucky had been brave when he was younger, but not brave enough to be able to stomach guilt of it. Trying to set Steve up...? That came very quickly after along with all of the girls he'd use to go with himself just to force him to feel normal.

There's an inkling that something isn't quite right now either...but that's because Steve's so...tall. He forces the blond down to his knees and follows after him, pulling back his head by his hair, threaded through silver fingers.

It's more gentle than it looks, really.

[starspangledspandex]

Steve had understood. They had lived in a dangerous time and he hadn't wanted to lose his friendship to it. They had stayed close and that had been enough for him. Honestly, Steve hadn't cared one way or another but back then, he had just been tired of feeling so alone.

He grunts slightly as he's forced to his knees but he doesn't protest, tilting his head up instead and looks for another kiss. Steve is breathing hard but now he doesn't know if it's the sparring or excitement.

[whothehellisbucky]

Wrong. All right. If they find out--

The suction breaks between them and Bucky's eyes search Steve's for a long enough time to feel truly beside himself. It's been so long since he's seen anyone look up at him like that and he traces a strong jawline with his fingertips, bare and fleshed and capable of feeling the start of stubble there.

It's not the first time that they've done this. Bucky holds his breath as his knees hit the mats and Steve is once again a little too tall for him. He drags his face down until their breathing meshes together.

"I didn't mean--" there's something if the real Bucky in there now.

[starspangledspandex]

He doesn't say anything. He's almost afraid he'll spook him and he'll stop if he does actually vocalize something. Steve doesn't really even know what to say. He just patiently watches Bucky as the man looks at him and traces his jaw.

Once Bucky is on his level again, Steve's hands shift to his waist and lightly drag up the side.

"Didn't mean what?" he whispers, lips nearly touching Bucky's again. "To kiss me? Because I liked that part."

[whothehellisbucky]

"Uh. Yeah. Me too."

Upstairs in his control room, Tony rolls his eyes and snags the bowl of popcorn that he had JARVIS pop for him. "That is not smooth," he says with the shake of his head. "No wonder they never got anywhere."

Back in the training room, however, Bucky sits back on his heels, knees splayed. He just watches Steve for a moment, his brows furrowed in the center of his forehead. "We... We've... We were--" he really just wants another kiss, all right?

[starspangledspandex]

Steve smiles because he doesn't care if it's smooth. He just cares that Bucky means it and he can tell. He doesn't think about where they are right now. He's completely in the moment.

It's hard to tell what all the stuttering is about but he thinks it's because the man is remembering, even in bits in pieces. "Yeah," he agrees with a nod. "And we can't get in trouble for it now."

He shifts, moving so he's kneeling closer to Bucky and gently tugs him forward into a soft kiss.

[whothehellisbucky]

The heat isn't gone but it is different now. Bucky doesn't understand gentle. He doesn't know how to dial himself back. If he's bruising, he doesn't realize it at the moment. It probably doesn't matter. Steve is more resilient than most.

Bucky copies Steve's earlier actions, hands moving up the other man's ribs and then his chest. There's too much person again, but he feels a bit of a break in his heart when soft lips teach him the proper way to kiss.

Of course, things get heated. And quickly. In Bucky's line of work, you have a limited time to complete a mission and sure, Steve isn't really a mission anymore but-- All right. So some things happen more slowly for him than others.

Steve is still a mission of sorts. Bucky's mouth proved it. He's overly hot. His mouth is burning. And Steve-- Steve--

"I missed you," he whispers awkwardly. He's not sure exactly what he's missed but it had to be something amazing.

[starspangledspandex]

It's okay if Bucky doesn't understand gentle. Steve doesn't need that right now. He'll teach him that later. Right now, he's a little desperate and this is the closest that he feels he's gotten to Bucky since he's been back. Today has been full of ups and downs; he's just rolling with it.

He doesn't mind the rough kisses either. Steve can keep up. His hands keep in place on the other man's hips, relaxing into the feel of Bucky's hands on his and not bothered by the metal one in the slightest.

He swallows and manages a smile, wetting his lips to keep himself from getting too emotional. "I missed you too," he whispers back.

[whothehellisbucky]

For two men fumbling with each other in semi-public -- meaning Banner or Barton or even Romanoff might stop in at any time to use the Avenger's training facility -- they certainly don't seem to mind how it looks. Tony spins in his chair to turn away from the show for a few moments as he listens to the hot and heavy breathing going on between the pair. They sound a little like fish. Or children. It's cute. And pretty freaking weird.

He never would have expected Steve to go for this sort of thing, but when next he looks at the screen, Steve's shirt has been literally torn open and Bucky's tongue is attempting to be clever.

And failing.

For being the world's most deadly and elusive assassin-- "Guy like Cap needs some finesse," he murmurs. "Lick a nipple. Grab his ass-- There we go."

Tony makes up his own little cheering party as Bucky's thumb does indeed trace over a nipple.

[starspangledspandex]

No, they're pretty lost in their own world right now. Steve is anyway. He definitely isn't doing this for Tony's entertainment. There's a reason this is usually a private thing. It's so other people can't be judgmental about how it's going.

Steve can't fault Bucky for the awkwardness either. He doesn't remember and well, Steve is about a hundred and fifty pounds more muscle now. He will be a little more obvious about what feels good but he won't lie about it if it doesn't.

He inhales slightly when the thumb traces a nipple and works on getting Bucky's shirt off.

[whothehellisbucky]

Balling his shirt up the moment it's over his head and tossing it away somewhere behind him, Bucky comes right back to Steve with a hungry mouth and careful hands that are doing their best not to hurt the blond. His clothing, however, will likely become a victim to his enthusiasm. The mats are good enough for this and Bucky lays Steve beneath him to climb over top, straddling narrow hips and cupping the back of his neck as he kisses them both silly and breath deprived.

It makes him shudder to know that his memories aren't false. That he once had Steve like this, wriggling pleasantly beneath him. He might not feel as he had the. But does it matter? The person is the same.

"The garbage can lid," he whispers, lowering his weight to the other as he braces himself on the metal arm. "And... Boxing. I took you boxing before."

It's sweeter to remember by honey than vinegar.

[starspangledspandex]

He meets the kiss, hands exploring Bucky's sides and chest. He stays away from the arm, for now, just because he isn't sure how the man feels about people touching it and he's not going to ruin the moment. It doesn't bother Steve at all. According to the files, the arm had already been gone or some of it so Hydra had almost done him a favor replacing it. The cost had been far too high for Steve's liking but it's done and over with, so he's making the best of a bad thing.

Steve shifts willingly to lay back against the mat and he doesn't care that his shirt meets with misfortune. His pants can go too as far as he's concerned. It's all replaceable; his best friend and lover is not at all. He kisses back desperately, big hand curling in Bucky's long hair and pants up at him when the kiss breaks.

The words make him smile fondly, thrilled that he's remembered something and he nods, "Yeah, and you showed me how to box a time or two. Works a little better now."

[whothehellisbucky]

"What else did I show you?" Bucky isn't actually trying to flirt. He's not trying to speak sexily. He's not trying to titilate the Captain either. All he wants, all he really wants, is the one thing that makes sense to him.

Kissing Steve is just that thing.

He can't get the blond naked fast enough. His nose lightly presses against Steve's sternum. He doesn't kiss him, he just smells him. His fingers lightly breathes against his skin, the tip of that nose catching in Steve's navel. His tongue traces circles against his thigh.

This is something he knows.

[starspangledspandex]

What else had Bucky shown him? He feels like there are so many things and he's very distracted by what the other man is doing to his thigh. It's not exactly the best time to ask him questions. He wets his lips as he watches him and smiles, "You tried to show me how to pick up girls but that didn't work out so well either," Steve laughs lightly. "I was always too shy around them. Only reason I ever kissed a girl was because they started it."

This is a weird conversation for what's going on right now, Steve decides and adds, "And, well, this." He encourages Bucky up again so Steve can kiss him, slow and sweet.

[whothehellisbucky]

Maybe. There isn't a lot that Bucky can say is weird, though. His entire situation is beyond compare and the less he has to thing, the better off he is. Besides, Steve's voice is calming. Well. Not calming, it's riling him up something fierce and what he aches for is nothing he could ever have imagined a day ago. Two days ago. Or the last time he'd been wiped.

This next kiss leaves Bucky breathless and yes, he wants more than that, he wants Steve's hands all over him, but the sweetness of it-- He knows that. He's had this. Bucky places his fleshed hand on the blond's shoulder and kisses him to match, breathing him in before they tumble together on the mat.

Kissing is something he wants to just keep on doing.

The rest can follow when he's had his fill.

Bucky's fingers trace the curve of Steve's spine and the captain sighs against him as he knew he would. It almost makes him smirk. Triumphant. He remembers how Steve likes to be touched. That's something positive for once!