Who the Hell is Bucky?
Apr. 7th, 2014 09:10 pm"So you cut your hair, destroyed SHIELD, get Fury killed and now you want to team up again?" Tony turned in his swivel chair three quarters to the left and two to the right like some evil super villain while Bruce Banner rolled his eyes behind him. Wisely, he stayed quiet. Being Tony's 'other half' and his 'soul mate' and worse, his therapist, was enough to give him a good enough idea of what staying quiet tended to do for him.
Chiefly? He didn't get pulled into these sorts of conversations.
"And did you like grow another three inches around your biceps? It's people like you that make it harder for ordinary guys to get dates on Friday night."
Chiefly? He didn't get pulled into these sorts of conversations.
"And did you like grow another three inches around your biceps? It's people like you that make it harder for ordinary guys to get dates on Friday night."
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Date: 2014-04-18 10:40 pm (UTC)"Popcorn? Soda?" he asks the other man when he asks JARVIS to pause in his play-through. Steve is avoiding asking the question he really wants to know which is whether any of this is familiar.
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Date: 2014-04-18 11:13 pm (UTC)He doesn't want to sit back. He wants to see, to experience, and though his eyes are perfectly capable of seeing and experiencing from half a foot further back, he doesn't want to. He gives Steve a defiant look, and stays where he is.
The films play, one after the other. First it's the propoganda war films, the sorts that they showed in the cinemas at home. Next...the extra footage. There is just so many of him and Steve laughing...
And that woman.
Bucky stands up. "Is she dead too?"
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Date: 2014-04-19 12:06 am (UTC)Steve is quiet for a moment before he says, "No, but she's old now. Old like we're supposed to be." He rubs a hand at his face, "She... has a disease that deteriorates a person's memory."
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Date: 2014-04-19 12:15 am (UTC)He looks away before he can see the expression on Steve's face and changes the subject.
"There's no such thing as fate. We are who we are. Not because something had a plan for us."
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Date: 2014-04-19 12:50 am (UTC)"No, but people grow old," he responds with a frown. "People don't get frozen and wake up a century later. That's not what people expect from life."
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Date: 2014-04-19 12:56 am (UTC)"Have it played again."
Bucky will watch these videos for as long as Steve will allow it. Over and over, yes, but focused primarily on the ones he and Steve are in together. From time to time there are even tears in his blue eyes.
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Date: 2014-04-19 01:26 am (UTC)"Are they helping?"
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Date: 2014-04-19 01:32 am (UTC)Why can't he actually remember any of this? It's his face. It's his smiles. This is like watching a twin in a film. Save for a few moments of memory. There's no connection between the memories, however. Nothing makes sense.
The glass of the coffee table is the first casualty of this frustration. He slams his cybernetic arm right through it before he stalks out of the room and back to his bunk.
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Date: 2014-04-19 01:37 am (UTC)"Jarvis, keep an eye on him alright? And tell Tony we need a new table."
Steve moves to pick up the glass that's now all over the place. Sure, Tony could send someone up to do it but it's a little therapeutic and it gives him an excuse not to hover over Bucky.
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Date: 2014-04-19 06:15 am (UTC)Broken. He's so broken. Broken and alone. His new handled isn't a handler at all and no one will tell him what to do other than to remember. Remember... But only some of it. None of the nightmare, only the good. Forget the electroshock therapy, forget the missions. Remember the time he'd been happy. Remember how he'd been friends with Steve Rogers.
Little Steve Rogers. Scourge of Brooklyn with a trashcan lid.
Bucky grabs his head. There will be some dents in the walls to go with the table soon until he evens out.
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Date: 2014-04-19 05:36 pm (UTC)He hears the banging that sounds suspiciously like a fist hitting the wall but he doesn't go look. Let him work it out. They're high enough up that he can't go anywhere and JARVIS would know if he had anyway.
He just wants Bucky to figure out who he is again without the training, without Hydra and that's all.
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Date: 2014-04-20 05:23 am (UTC)Steve's a whole lot more patient than Tony is. Once again, he finds a way to brush by Steve, this time in the kitchen. He and Bucky had been watching movies for hours and now-- Now it's late. Late and his perimeter alarms are going off.
He got blown up in his home not too long ago, Steven. Tony is a little...beside himself, all right? This tower is his baby. His second baby. The first baby he destroyed. And that hurt, okay?
"Each punch is about 10k worth of damage."
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Date: 2014-04-21 06:44 pm (UTC)"So send me a bill," he responded. He quietly didn't ask where Fury was getting the money to keep paying him but SHIELD was getting back on its feet so there was a backer somewhere. The last thing he was worried about was a few holes in the wall anyway. It was rough on him to see these videos of them and know that Bucky didn't remember hardly any of it. "Or I'll get some drywall spackle and fix it myself."
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Date: 2014-04-21 07:18 pm (UTC)The look on the blond's face, however, was almost devastating. Tony didn't quite draw back, but he couldn't keep from frowning.
"What can I do to help? In case you've forgotten, I'm pretty well off and important." Please Steve. Let him help
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Date: 2014-04-21 07:30 pm (UTC)Steve shakes his head and throws up one hand, "I don't know. I don't even know if I'm helping."
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Date: 2014-04-21 07:37 pm (UTC)They could take to Bruce. There had to be some therapy regimen for this that doesn't include beating down his tower.
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Date: 2014-04-21 08:09 pm (UTC)Steve gives the other room a sad look. "I just want him to remember so he knows that Hydra hasn't been his whole life. That there are other things, better things to do with himself than the next mission. It's no way to live."
His shoulders slump, "I hope that still includes me but if he can't... I understand. I just want him to realize he's more than a weapon and be able to make decisions himself."
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Date: 2014-04-21 08:39 pm (UTC)He lightly pats Steve on the shoulder and then gives him a shove that likely won't move the blond.
"I think in this case you should keep pursuing. Eventually he'll be rubbed down to nothing and then you can work your insanely not-as-handsome-as-me-but-still-up-there charm."
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Date: 2014-04-21 09:55 pm (UTC)Steve doesn't move at the push but his expression does get more resolved and he nods, "It might mean a few more dents in your wall."
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Date: 2014-04-21 10:09 pm (UTC)"Do you think you can have those dents down in the gym? I reinforced it specifically for that reason. Or use the swimming pool. It's almost Hulk proof!" Tony just wants to get the Hulk in swim trunks, all right? He just wants...he wants Steve to smile again.
Without waiting for a reply, Tony leaves. He's done the best he can being a friend. The rest is up to Steve.
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Date: 2014-04-21 10:29 pm (UTC)He probably won't be smiling for awhile Tony. This process is going to be hard on them both and for different reasons. He's about to say thank you when the man walks out and he shakes his head, then goes to quietly knock on Bucky's door.
"There's a workout room downstairs. Tony reinforced the sandbags so I could take my feelings out on them. I'll show you where it is if you're interested."
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Date: 2014-04-21 11:31 pm (UTC)When Bucky answers, he just looks sad. Confused. And very red eyed.
"Yeah...yeah actually... Want to spar?"
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Date: 2014-04-22 12:49 am (UTC)He looks a little surprised at the question but he nods, "Sure, let me change into something better real quick." Khakis are not sparing clothes.
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Date: 2014-04-22 01:18 am (UTC)Bucky slams Steve into the wall as many times as he's able, panting heavily, breathing into his face. Blue eyes so close gave Bucky pause. His lips part. Steve smells familiar.
Tony gets up for the third time when a slam into the wall turns into what looks like two men trying to bite each other's faces off. Both dark eyebrows raise. "J-- Record."
"Of course, Sir."
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Date: 2014-04-22 01:36 am (UTC)Steve grapples with Bucky and stares back at him as he pants. It's probably a bad train of thought to think about how sexy the other man manhandling him is right now. He barely remembers Steve and what they had shared. That had been way back, before the war even.
The kiss is a surprise but Steve doesn't even question it. He kisses back and just as hard as Bucky. He doesn't know if this is because of memories or just built up tension but he'll worry about it later. He assumes, in his brief consideration of this turn of events, that there are memories there.
Instead of trying to push him away, his hands just rest where they had fallen and he lets Bucky control it, just like he had the spar.
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