Who the Hell is Bucky?

[starkingenuity]

"So you cut your hair, destroyed SHIELD, get Fury killed and now you want to team up again?"  Tony turned in his swivel chair three quarters to the left and two to the right like some evil super villain while Bruce Banner rolled his eyes behind him.  Wisely, he stayed quiet.  Being Tony's 'other half' and his 'soul mate' and worse, his therapist, was enough to give him a good enough idea of what staying quiet tended to do for him.

Chiefly?  He didn't get pulled into these sorts of conversations.

"And did you like grow another three inches around your biceps?  It's people like you that make it harder for ordinary guys to get dates on Friday night."

Comments

[whothehellisbucky]

They had dated once. Just once. And it had been so much more-- But. It was wrong, they could have been killed over it, but... He thinks back on a moment, tries to breathe it all in, and it disapears again. Thankfully. He doesn't need to be reminded of some things. Not when he can't reconcile the rest.

The mention of a shower makes Bucky turn towards the door he just shut. His eyes cloud over slightly and he opens the door again.

"All right." Chances are, he'll just stand there for awhile until JARVIS takes pity on him and turns on the faucets.

[starspangledspandex]

He drags a hand over his face when Bucky is out of view again and then frowns, adding, "You should probably undress before you turn the water on."

Steve hates to have to add things like that. He doesn't know if some kind of structured schedule would be better for Bucky or if it's better for him to realize that he can do his own things. He just... doesn't know. He could ask but he's not sure he'll get an answer.

"There should be shampoo and soap in there," he tells him. "Go ahead and use them."

[whothehellisbucky]

Commands. He can work with commands. When he's told to undress, Bucky undresses. His coat is hung up but the rest ends up on the floor. He smells worse than before, and the clothing likely has to be thrown out. His hair is horrible, greasy and unmanageable.

He doesn't touch it except to remove the elastic. It more or less stays molded to his head.

[starspangledspandex]

He averts his eyes but only slightly as the other man undresses. It's more upward than away. His nose wrinkles slightly at the stench and decides he needs to find some of his own things that Bucky can wear.

It's clear the man is responding to being told to do things. He hates to do it but he doesn't know how to form things as orders and still give the man a choice in it. He drags a hand through his hair.

"You need a shower," he tells him again. "There's shampoo and conditioner for your hair. Soap for your body. Use them both. Take as long as you need to get yourself clean. I'll find you some clothes to wear when you're out."

[whothehellisbucky]

The water is as much a relief as the new commands are. He can figure out what to do once he has the soap. He uses a little too much shampoo and frowns ever so slightly at the three different languages on the bottle. They all say the same thing and it doesn't make a bit of sense to him why they have it written out like that. For the conditioner, he counts out to three minutes by seconds and his timing is so precise that he's only four seconds off.

Tony mentions that to Steve when passing the Captain, hard at work piecing together an outfit for his friend. Yes. Stark had been eavesdropping. Bruce had to be off for some conference or some demonstration or whatever and with him, his general conscience was gone.

He leans against the wall with a smirk.

"Go with the red. It'll match that star."

[starspangledspandex]

He waits to make sure that Bucky gets himself in the shower and situated before he grabs the dirty clothes the man had been wearing. He dumps them down the garbage chute before he heads into his room.

A lot of what he has here are just his training clothes. He'll have to go shopping to outfit the other man properly. He'll be alright in the meantime with a few pairs of workout pants and shirts.

"Do you ever knock?" he shoots back, frowning at the red shirt in his hands. Steve is stressing out a little. He wants Bucky to remember but he also wants him to be comfortable. "Can you make him a uniform? His is gone but it was probably ruined anyway. Black is fine."

[starkingenuity]

Tony holds up three fingers, looking bored. "First? My tower. 88% my tower at least. Twice over. Second, why should I knock when the door's open and you're dressed? Third, I know I dress well, have a good sense of fashion, and weld together metal suits, but I don't exactly have 'seamstress' tattooed on my head." He pauses. "And if I do, you're the first one I'm coming for after my laser tattoo removal sessions."

When he's done talking, Tony's eyes soften considerably.

"I'm going to have JARVIS monitor him," he says. "I'll keep out of your room, Cap but I can't let a trained assassin with who know how many trigger words loose in New York without a tail. I'll see about contacting some Army supply stores for you, though. J?"

"On it already, sir."

[starspangledspandex]

He holds up three fingers of his own and jabs at Tony with one. "First, my rooms, my rules. If you want to throw me out fine, otherwise you knock on my doors. Second, I meant the front door and it's because that same trained assassin might flip out if you're just suddenly in the apartment when he doesn't expect you to be. Unless you want to be dead, I suggest knocking or have at least have JARVIS announce you."

Steve nods at the rest of it and drops his voice slightly, "It's not that you're in here. It's that you're in here without us knowing it. Mostly him. He's a wildcard. I don't know how he'll react to anything at this point. I don't plan on letting him go anywhere alone right now."

He gives him a sly look, "I can put it there if you'd like but army supply will be fine. I'm thinking heavy duty. He's used to sturdy."

[starkingenuity]

Oh, that sass! Tony can't help but grin, even though he stands his ground when it comes to Steve Rogers and his entirely too powerful finger thrusting. The thought, that wording, it makes him chuckle to himself. Oh, if only. Steve might actually blush over it. He'd have to work it into conversation later.

"He sounds like a pet. Aren't you suppose to start with a plant and move up the scale to more complicated lifeforms? At least get a dog first."

Tony shrugs.

"But yeah, I'll get right on that knocking. And a pair of pants." He turns, waving at Steve behind him. Bucky's just wandered into the room, after all, soaking wet, dripping, completely naked, and looking at him like he might tear his throat out.

Bad dog.

[starspangledspandex]

He scowls and shoots Tony a look. "He's not and you know it. He's just not himself right now."

When Steve is stressed, he really doesn't have time for Tony's attitude. He appreciates his help but the rest of it is just a headache. He doesn't have time to decipher what the man really means by things.

Steve winces slightly when he sees the other man dripping everywhere and grabs the towels he'd meant to take to him already. He extends one and carefully says, "Here, dry yourself off. I'm sorry if he surprised you."

[whothehellisbucky]

Fun fact about Tony Stark? He doesn't care if Steve gets pissed off. He knows the Captain will come around eventually. They all do.

Though it's been years since Bucky lost an arm, the area where skin and metal meet still looks tender, as if he'd been refitted with a new limb not so long ago. Considering all of the Stark tech Hydra had their hands on, that was probably to be expected.

The towel offered to him is looked at for a moment before he takes it and dries himself off, two foot-shaped puddles in the carpet left behind as he looks back towards the doorway.

"Nothing startles me." He'd known Tony was there. It's why he'd left the shower in the first place.

[starspangledspandex]

No, Steve does't really expect him to care if he gets mad. He hasn't before so he doesn't see the why it would change now. They get in enough disagreements he knows how Tony operates.

He glances over Bucky quickly, looking for injuries, and not seeing any that haven't been attended to already. At least Hydra had wanted him to be in good shape, even it had just been to keep him as a weapon, at least they cared enough to keep him healthy though mentally is obviously questionable.

"Right," Steve responds after the man takes his towel and he shifts pass him clothes. "Here, these should fit. We'll go shopping and get you something that sits you properly."

[whothehellisbucky]

The towel is dropped once more and the clothing is accepted without being inspected. Bucky doesn't have a fashion sense. It's never bothered him. He wears what he is told to. It usually has a reason, a purpose. These seem to be useful only for covering himself.

He doesn't even say anything about the star logo. That's not Steve's fault. It just can't be helped when so many athletic wear companies use stars in their designs.

The shirt fits him pretty well. Better than it does Steve, who stretches it out. Bucky's been treated to Hydra's own super soldier program but Steve is one of a kind, even if his old friend is faster, has incredible stamina, and can heal fairly quickly himself.

"Will we go now?"

[starspangledspandex]

Steve keeps his eyes to himself while Bucky dresses. Things are different now than they had been before. He doesn't want to take any liberties. He can't do anything he doesn't want the other man to think is okay.

He needs to try to foster some kind of independent thinking here. Steve's intention is to help him not just turn him into his own puppet. He wants to live his life again.

"Do you want to go now?" he asked.

[whothehellisbucky]

It's back to the blank face. Honestly, Bucky is just confused. He'd been given autonomy before in his missions...so long as he got things done, promptly, he was more or less given free reign on how he did it. Of course, there were usually safety procedures that Hydra put into place and often, he'd had small forces of men to back him up. When that happened, his missions were more or less programmed into him.

He was most like JARVIS than he was a person. Save that JARVIS was more like a person than he himself was.

Brushing his hand over the soft fabric of the t-shirt, Bucky looks up at Steve with a frown. "I...want to see more videos. More than were in the museum."

[starspangledspandex]

He waits patiently for an answer and he won't do anything until he has one. Steve honestly doesn't care when it gets done so long as it does and he will go along with whatever choice the man wants to go with. If he changes his mind in ten minutes, he'll go along with that too, because Bucky is free now.

Steve straightens slightly at the request and then nods, "Alright, we can do that. I only have a few on my computer and on disc but JARVIS should have access to the archive."

[whothehellisbucky]

There's a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of soda with some glasses and ice in the TV room. Whatever is asked of JARVIS rarely gets passed Tony (unless he's actively involved in ignoring him -- as usual). The couch is comfortable with plenty of room and Bucky waits for Steve to tell him to sit before he makes himself comfortable on the edge of one of the sections of soft leather, knees bent and back straight.

So much for comfortable.

He gazes expectantly at the blank screen before the blond tells JARVIS to start the feed he did indeed have records of. Bucky won't talk through them. He's too busy studying this person he use to be.

[starspangledspandex]

"You can sit back against the cushions," he adds as he relaxes on the couch. He watches Bucky more than the films. He's seen them all several times. He waits until the end of one to offer the bowl.

"Popcorn? Soda?" he asks the other man when he asks JARVIS to pause in his play-through. Steve is avoiding asking the question he really wants to know which is whether any of this is familiar.

[whothehellisbucky]

He doesn't want to sit back. He wants to see, to experience, and though his eyes are perfectly capable of seeing and experiencing from half a foot further back, he doesn't want to. He gives Steve a defiant look, and stays where he is.

The films play, one after the other. First it's the propoganda war films, the sorts that they showed in the cinemas at home. Next...the extra footage. There is just so many of him and Steve laughing...

And that woman.

Bucky stands up. "Is she dead too?"

[starspangledspandex]

It's fine by him that Bucky doesn't scoot back. It's his choice and that's what is most important. It makes Steve a little sad to see the other man laughing with him. Things are so different now. He's missed Bucky so much. He's just a ghost of what he used to be now.

Steve is quiet for a moment before he says, "No, but she's old now. Old like we're supposed to be." He rubs a hand at his face, "She... has a disease that deteriorates a person's memory."

[whothehellisbucky]

"Good." Cruel. Bucky realizes that almost immediately. Steve had cared for her. He knows this in his bones, not just because he sees it in the films, but because he remembers. He remembers disliking her, though she'd been very likable. Pretty. Smart. Deadly.

He looks away before he can see the expression on Steve's face and changes the subject.

"There's no such thing as fate. We are who we are. Not because something had a plan for us."

[starspangledspandex]

His expression falls slightly at the comment. He knows, at least a little, that Bucky hadn't liked her but that's not a disease he'd wish on his worst enemy. He's pretty sure his old friend wouldn't have said that about her if he'd been himself.

"No, but people grow old," he responds with a frown. "People don't get frozen and wake up a century later. That's not what people expect from life."

[whothehellisbucky]

Bucky had been just a little luckier than Steve. Being woken up from time to time and reprogrammed with the technology of the day, Bucky didn't have and still doesn't have the culture shock that Steve still struggles with. It may be the only boon left to the poor man. He's quiet for some time and sits down.

"Have it played again."

Bucky will watch these videos for as long as Steve will allow it. Over and over, yes, but focused primarily on the ones he and Steve are in together. From time to time there are even tears in his blue eyes.

[starspangledspandex]

"You can ask for specific ones yourself, you know," Steve tells him after watching everything through again. He thinks tears are good things but he can't be sure. The only way to find out is to ask.

"Are they helping?"

[whothehellisbucky]

Why can't he actually remember any of this? It's his face. It's his smiles. This is like watching a twin in a film. Save for a few moments of memory. There's no connection between the memories, however. Nothing makes sense.

The glass of the coffee table is the first casualty of this frustration. He slams his cybernetic arm right through it before he stalks out of the room and back to his bunk.